Parenting | Page 17 of 23

Photos Add Perspective Part 2

April 7th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

In Photos Add Perspective Part 1 (See Here), I related the story of an adult who felt she had never received attention after her younger sister was born. Her facts were discredited by multiple family photographs.

However, her feelings were also supported by the family photographs. The most poignant is the older sister sitting beside the infant sibling, who is held by their father. While he gazes into the eyes of his baby daughter, the older sister stares blankly into the camera. There is no smile. The joy my boys expressed when holding or snuggling with the newest baby is absent.

Now that I have heard her perspective, her expression—especially her eyes—take on new meaning.

A yearbook editor once told me that people first consider how they look in a group photograph before looking at anyone else. Afterwards, I noticed that I also scrutinized my face and outfit first. Along the way, I learned to expand my vision and look more carefully at others.

Do you have photographs that need a second or third look?

Memories, Parenting, Photos

Photos Add Perspective Part 1

April 4th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

We can be crippled by the stories we tell ourselves. Many of these stories are driven by deep emotions and fragile memories. How can we gain a better perspective? Our photographs can help.

I was recently told, “I never received attention after my younger sister was born.” This dear person proceeded to cite evidence based on a photo I had seen. I remembered the image but not specific details.

I flipped through an old album and found several pictures of two preschoolers sitting on the steps of their back porch. I scrutinized the image for the details cited as proof. They did not exist. The photo unequivocally showed the opposite.

I turned the album’s page and viewed picnic photos. The older sister was embraced by her attentive father while her younger sister played close by.

The enemy of our soul wants us to believe lies: that we are unloved, unwanted, and unimportant. Our children are especially vulnerable. Photos give us ammunition to strike back and protect truth.

Do you have stories that need another perspective?

Homeschooling, Parenting

What Is Your Focus?

March 28th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

I knew I couldn’t run a half marathon. I occasionally wondered if I could power walk 13.1 miles if not constrained by a time limit. When Covid-19 forced in-person races to become virtual races, the time limit was removed. I signed up for my first half marathon and then a second.

I decided the best way to meet my self-imposed time goal was to keep a consistent pace. My focus became my Fitbit, tapping the screen regularly to display my pace. I rejoiced when I beat an 18-minute mile and became disheartened with a 20-minute mile. My emotions followed the numbers for too many hours. Eventually, I fell while checking my Fitbit.

For my second half marathon, I focused on my walking, An app announced the pace at the end of each mile, which was sufficient. How did I do? I enjoyed it more, didn’t fall, and beat my previous time by almost seven minutes.

How is this relevant to parenting and homeschooling? When we become too concerned about moment-by-moment progress, our emotions can rule, we can stumble, and we can cover ground less quickly.

What is your focus?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

In My Father’s House by Corrie Ten Boom

March 21st, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

Earthly examples of godly men and women may be lacking in our immediate lives, but we can still learn from others. Corrie ten Boom shared her childhood in the autobiography In My Father’s House. (See Here for more about the ten Booms.)

Corrie’s parents handled her fears and foibles with great wisdom. They handled their poverty with great trust in God who had great riches. Nudged by the Spirit, they prayed great prayers, which were answered in unimaginable ways.

Once, after Corrie escaped being molested, her mother said

Every morning I ask Him to keep you and all of my children within His constant care. In the evening, I thank Him that He sent His angels to guard you. Now you and I will pray together.

They prayed that God would change the heart of the man who meant harm. Corrie was encouraged by her mother’s words.

Has a biography or autobiography encouraged you?

Friendship, Parenting

I Know You Already Know This

March 14th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

Decades ago, I volunteered to substitute in a preschool Sunday School class in our new town. Not only were my three boys preschoolers, but I also had taught the three-year-old class at our former church. I chafed while the lead teacher showed me the lesson and spoke as if I were ignorant about both teaching and preschoolers. I admit my attitude towards her became poor.

Five years later, my sister-in-law prefaced a conversation with “I know you already know this.” The strong statements that followed were not perceived as a lecture but as Sherry’s desire to discuss information about which I was knowledgeable.

I don’t remember whether I knew the facts and opinions Sherry stated, but I know I did think what a respectful, disarming way to start specific conversations. I immediately recollected the Sunday School lecture about teaching preschoolers and how different it might have been if the information had been prefaced with “I know you already know this, but…”

We do need refreshers and reminders and exhortations about what we already know. “I know you already know this” can be a respectful opening.

Thank you for being a reader of this blog about things “you already know.”