Book Recommendations, Lies I Believed, Parenting

Lies I Believed: Parents Can Fix Their Children

Pray then like this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Matthew 6:9

One son held a grudge against a teacher. “Had I prayed with my son?” asked another teacher.

“Yes.”

“Had I prayed for him?”

“Yes.”

“Why wasn’t his attitude ‘fixed?'” she wondered. Maybe I hadn’t prayed enough.

“Had I encouraged another son who was shy?” asked a friend.

“Yes.”

“Perhaps he needs an incentive.”

“One morning, I offered a dime for every time he said ‘Hello.’ He declined.”

My friend wondered if there was another way to “fix” him.

I learned quickly I could not “fix” my sons. However, I felt guilty when I couldn’t, which probably meant deep down I thought I should.

It was decades later that I read The Lord’s Prayer by Thomas Watson. He begins by examining what it means for God to be our father.

God is the best Father in terms of Wisdom. He knows the fittest means to bring about his own design. … God is the best Father because he can Reform his children. God knows how to make his elect children better—he can change their hearts.

Thomas Watson, The Lord’s Prayer

Have you been expected to fix someone?

Book Recommendations, Books

Better than A Valentine

With regard to February 14th celebrations, I choose Read to Your Child Day over Valentine’s Day.

But what if you don’t have a child?

In college, a friend read me her favorite lines from Up a Road Slowly by Irene Hunt. We were taking a Children’s Literature class. Last year, my friend Katie and I read The Lighthouse Family books aloud to each other. Love of family, friendship, and adventure ooze through the picture books by Cynthia Rylant.

Although my sons are in their thirties, I still search for the best children’s stories—and buy them. My time in bookstores and libraries is spent browsing the children’s section. Most books stacked by my reading chair weren’t written for adults.

A children’s story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children’s story in the slightest.

C.S. Lewis

I love the permission I feel from Lewis’s quote. I remember when I didn’t admit I read children’s books. Now I belong to a book club where adults openly share the pleasure.

Do you have someone to read to?

Book Recommendations, Relationships

Sometimes, It’s the People Pt.2

My husband and I attend the National Book Festival to discover new books and hear the stories of authors. And, hopefully, collect the current National Book Festival poster. And other freebies.

Another reason for attending (September 2008)

In 2016, I had the privilege to meet a favorite author, Katherine Paterson.

With Katherine Paterson (September 2016)

On Saturday, I unexpectedly met another favorite author, Gary Schmidt. (See here and here.) I purchased a duplicate book so he could sign it.

With Gary Schmidt (August 2023)

Although my husband and I did not seek to have meaningful conversations with strangers, it happened. Three times. I think I would have new, good friends if these women lived closer, or if, perhaps, I had asked their full names. Twice in a row, I have experienced events in which I will fondly remember engaging with strangers.

Who are you meeting?

Book Recommendations

The Labors of Hercules Beal By Gary Schmidt

Children, why do your parents read out loud to you?

When we read a story, we experience things that we ourselves have never done. And especially when we’re young, it’s an opportunity for us to learn about places and people and things that otherwise we wouldn’t know about. And most importantly, it’s a chance for us to become wise … And so it’s out of your parents’ love for you that they want you to become wise. Wiser than your years.

Rev. Matthew Capone

I won’t claim that Gary Schmidt loves his readers like parents love their children, but he gives his readers opportunities to become wiser than their years. The Labors of Hercules Beal has the protagonist—and consequently readers—learn the following truths.

We don’t know what family and friends and neighbors are thinking and feeling—no matter how much we believe we do.

We can’t hide our thoughts and feelings—no matter how much we believe we can.

Perceived enemies are allies and help in unimaginable ways.

The beauty of Schmidt’s writing is that readers are encouraged as these truths unfold during unforgettable, dire circumstances in the life of protagonist Hercules Beal.

Thank you again, Gary Schmidt.

Book Recommendations

Trouble by Gary Schmidt

He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear, but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.

ISAIAH 11:13B-14 (ESV)

A day after I finished Trouble by Gary Schmidt, I reread it, and then, immediately called one son and told him to add it to his “must read” list. I pestered my mother-in-law to read Trouble. Why?

The characters are compelling, and the plots twists numerous and the prose as beautiful as you would expect from a professor of English at Calvin College, but Trouble offers more.

I learned the perspective of people overwhelmed with circumstances and grief. The reply “Fine” means “Please don’t ask questions I can’t answer.”

My understanding of the discrimination that refugees face in the United States increased.

Most importantly, Trouble illustrates Isaiah 11:13-14. The characters—and therefore the readers—are misled by what their eyes see and their ears hear. Righteousness prevails. Justice is given to the poor of the earth.

After the last page is read, the characters will still wrestle with Trouble, but accompanied by Hope and Happiness.

Thank you, Gary Schmidt.