As my children aged, their sharing with us lessened and our need to understand them grew. Misunderstandings mounted from our lack of communication. They wanted freedoms we weren’t ready to give, and the resulting arguments wearied us.
How could we break barriers and truly listen? One son, a tween at the time, brought his teddy bear one evening as a mediator.
“Grandperson, Bob** is mad at you,” said Teddy.
“Why?” I asked.
“He thinks you are unfair.”
“How am I unfair?”
The conversation continued as we patiently listened to each other.
A friend tried this with her son and reported, “It works because you can’t fuss at teddy bears, and they don’t fuss back.”
I shared my experience with another friend. “It is not a new trick,” she said, “but I am always amazed that it works.”
Is this a gimmick? I don’t think so. I think it was a way of breaking bad communication patterns. Variety helped us listen carefully because talking through a teddy bear was unpredictable. And fun.
*Edited and republished for the sixth anniversary of 100words.
** pseudonyms
