Decisions

Dream Big Dreams? No Thanks.

I’ve got dreams so big they’d scare some people.

Dolly Parton

As long as your dreams don’t involve me, Dolly, I’m fine. Thinking about orchestrating a big dream crushes me the same way as being encouraged to become a world-changer. (See here.)

The dreams-coming-true parts of my life were gifts from God. Many grew from small undertakings, which required the intervention of others.

Favorite books from childhood were set on Governor’s Island. My husband’s business trip made a wish-come-true visit possible.

I can’t follow the cliche of aiming for the stars in hopes of hitting the moon. Why waste my energy if all I want is the moon. I tell myself that the Wright brothers didn’t attempt a rocket in hopes of settling for an airplane.

I regularly read biographies of famous artists and lesser-known scientists. They worked hard and followed their passions. They were grateful for their opportunities and rejoiced when their work was successful. Few dreamed big dreams.

Do you dream big dreams like Dolly?

Lies We Tell, Parenting

You Can Be Anything You Want To Be

I snatched the sticker below as soon as I saw it because I believe we set others up for hardship, and sometimes failure, when we say, “You can be anything you want to be.

Found in an independent bookstore

Taylor Swift’s parents believed she could be anything she wanted to be. They backed her with their wealth, connections, and a move to Nashville when she was thirteen.

Dolly Parton believed she could be anything she wanted to be. Though poor, her family recognized her gifts and sacrificially rallied around her with the skills and connections they did have.

What about the rest of us?

After years of observing, I believe it’s harder and takes longer to accept the reality of limited opportunities or a mismatch of abilities and dreams when parents, teachers, and friends spend years saying, “You can be anything you want to be.”

What am I learning to say when someone shares a dream?

You can be whomever God wants you to be because he will bring the opportunities and equip you.”

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9 ESV

Memories, Parenting

Perhaps I Did Do My Best

Memory, my dear Cecily, is the diary we all carry about with us.

Miss Prism, The Importance Of Being Earnest

Yes, but it usually chronicles the things that have never happened and couldn’t possibly have happened.

Cecily, The Importance of Being Earnest

I don’t believe my memories are my imagination, but I do know that memories are tricky. Sometimes I forget the victories and remember the struggles. Sometimes the opposite.  As I think about raising my sons, my memories tell me I could have listened more or played more or many other things more.

Rarely does one get a chance to revisit past situations. Last month—as I cared nonstop for young children for days and days—I got that chance.

Through last month’s filter of sleep deprivation, constant action, fatigue, and rarely having solitude to think, the things I left unsaid and undone while raising my sons were not unreasonable. By reliving my circumstances when my own children were young, I now understand that the things that I wish I had made happen couldn’t possibly have happened.

Perhaps I did do my best. Like you.

Relationships

Sharing Our Experiences

Tia, put down your phone and watch TV.

My 3-year-old Great-Nephew

I did, although I was texting updates to friends and family who were praying for the child’s father. My nephew was in ICU recovering from heart surgery. Or not recovering most days.

My great-nephew’s request was a funny story to tell until a friend observed that the child wanted me to be invested in his interests, Peppa the Pig. Or was it Paw Patrol that morning?

After consideration, I realized that my husband and I were doing the same. We were asking others to invest in our current interests, my nephew, his wife, and their sons.

After days of working puzzles, blowing bubbles, monitoring the sandbox, and inventing the silliest games, I understood how deeply God wired us to share experiences.

My great-nephews reciprocated. When my husband went for a 14-mile run, they tracked his progress on my app. It thrilled them to watch the dot on the screen that presented Tio’s progress as he ran around a local lake. They were absorbed with the photos on our phones that represented our activities at home.

May God bless you with people to share your experiences.

Book Recommendations, God's Faithfulness

Redeemed from Trouble

Oh give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.

Psalm 107:1-2 (ESV)

Forget being redeemed from trouble because I don’t want trouble to begin with. Especially as a child, I longed for happiness and perfection.

I was drawn to TV shows like The Waltons, Andy Griffith, and My Three Sons. I craved the comfort, hope and security they offered.  Books such as the All-of-a-Kind Family series, and the Judy Bolton Mystery Series met the same need.  They were a Sunday roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, and three fingerfuls of buttercream frosting all between well-worn pages.

Fiction proved I could grow up and have a different life.

Now, I’m wiser. I’m drawn to the fiction that shows redemption. No one gets happiness and perfection—except in rare, short bursts.  Hope and security come from the knowledge that we can be redeemed from trouble.

My current favorite authors—Gary Schmidt, Mary Amato, Katherine Paterson and Gordon Korman—show what a life redeemed from trouble looks like, and it is good.

Oh give thanks to the Lord for he is good.