Relationships

Sharing Our Experiences

Tia, put down your phone and watch TV.

My 3-year-old Great-Nephew

I did, although I was texting updates to friends and family who were praying for the child’s father. My nephew was in ICU recovering from heart surgery. Or not recovering most days.

My great-nephew’s request was a funny story to tell until a friend observed that the child wanted me to be invested in his interests, Peppa the Pig. Or was it Paw Patrol that morning?

After consideration, I realized that my husband and I were doing the same. We were asking others to invest in our current interests, my nephew, his wife, and their sons.

After days of working puzzles, blowing bubbles, monitoring the sandbox, and inventing the silliest games, I understood how deeply God wired us to share experiences.

My great-nephews reciprocated. When my husband went for a 14-mile run, they tracked his progress on my app. It thrilled them to watch the dot on the screen that presented Tio’s progress as he ran around a local lake. They were absorbed with the photos on our phones that represented our activities at home.

May God bless you with people to share your experiences.

Relationships

So, What Are You Making For Dinner Tonight?

During daily walks with my friend Kathy, why did we discuss what we were making for dinner or had made the previous day? Why does my book group discuss our meals more than our books? As I typed these questions, I realized I could identify some friends by their meals.

Given the response to a recent blog (see here) it seems that many of you do the same. I have been pondering these close-friend, food conversations, and I have a few ideas.

Meals reflect our tastes, culture, allergies, time limitations, and income levels. Meals reveal our patience as well as the friends and family whom share our table. We save these intimate details for the trusted.

But why do we talk about food so much with those closest to us?

Meals dominate our time, and our friends care how our hours are spent. They appreciate our toil, marvel at our shortcuts, rejoice at our triumphs, and either lament or laugh at our mistakes.

Meals nourish our bodies, but the telling of them nourishes our friendships.

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.

Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

So, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Friendship, Relationships

Asking All The Questions

Kathleen 1950-2025

Betty White drove Kathleen’s childhood carpool. Yes, that Betty White. Kathleen chatted with the Clintons while they chose pens at the local bookstore. Yes, that President and Secretary of State. Kathleen didn’t know much about football, but she had been engaged to a Heisman trophy winner and doubled-dated Joe Namath.

And yet, nothing about my mundane life was mundane to Kathleen. She wanted to know what I was cooking for Thanksgiving dinner. What were my favorite recipes? What was I reading? Any good sales lately?

How did I cope with memories during my trip to Brazil where my cousin lived before she passed?  Was the trip healing? Kathleen said I was brave to return to Brazil so soon.

Kathleen was the brave one. Her life was not only filled with celebrities but also with heartaches. She never paused for sympathy when a past event was mentioned as part of a relevant story. I watched her current heartaches from afar.

What made Kathleen interested in everyone around her? So outwardly focused? So inquisitive? So amazing?

 I can guess, but guessing isn’t knowing. I never asked enough questions, but Kathleen asked all her questions.

Why don’t we ask more questions?

Photos, Relationships

Staying in Touch (Reprise)

During Covid-19, my husband and I needed ways to connect with members of our isolated church family that did not involve physical contact. When we were physically apart due to travel, I sent tourist postcards. Those wouldn’t work this time.

While my sons were at college, Pictures of the Day (POTD) kept our immediate family connected. (See here.) Why not expand the POTD to our church family?

Printing and sending photos were time-consuming, but more interesting than writing letters when there was little news to share.

The first photos I sent during Covid-19 were of the woodpeckers, jays, cardinals, and chickadees that visited the feeder on my deck.

Our most frequent visitors

When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs.

Ansel Adams

I appreciated my backyard more because of the response I received. I saw my surroundings through the lens of those who didn’t have the view I did.

I also gained a permanent communication tool. Eventually photos were mailed to extended family. Five years later, my ninety-year-old aunt eagerly awaits the next batch.

How did you stay in touch during Covid-19?

Relationships

Staying in Touch

A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than for other people.

Thomas Mann 1929 Nobel Prize in Literature

According to the definition above, I am a writer. So, what’s a writer to do when she has people she wants to stay in touch with? Or express her affection? Or her concern? And she has enough regrets over unwritten letters. (See here.)

Steal from others.

Don’t worry. This theft is legal. There’s even a book with encouragement that I highly recommend. Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon.

I copy uncopyrighted poems and lyrics. I recycle the fronts of greeting cards. I pilfer old calendars. I clip cartoons. All are better expressed and more interesting than my words.

From favorites sources

I trust my friends so know my heart. It’s not a lazy exercise. Some days it’s quite time consuming to find the right item, but in a world of drifting away, the words and art of others are my lifeline.

Thank you, friends, for the ways you stay in touch with me.