Favorites, God's Faithfulness, Relationships

The Value of Transparency*

I vividly remember a homeschool prayer breakfast where I learned how much transparency—though it takes courage—changes everything

A beloved supporter of our group was the morning speaker. After she encouraged us to raise our children in accordance with Scripture, the leader asked for prayer requests. Usually, we shared about children struggling with reading or math, wisdom in ordering our day, curriculum decisions, dealing with opposition to homeschooling, or our husbands’ work schedules.

Our speaker responded first. She poured out her heart concerning a matter that was deeply troubling her. She listed her questions, her fears, and her doubts. As an older and wiser woman, she had just given us advice, but she was not afraid of transparency. She understood she had no merit apart from Christ’s sacrifice. She was equal to us in needing and relying on the grace of God alone.

Our speaker’s transparency—and vulnerability—changed the direction of our meeting. We eagerly followed her example and openly talked about—and then prayed for—the concerns that were most heavy on our hearts. We were different when we left.

Has someone’s transparency changed your direction?

PS Thank you, J’aime.

*Edited and republished from July 25, 2021

Decisions, God's Faithfulness, Relationships

A Time For Pity

Pity: sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed or unhappy.

Merriam-Webster

For too long, I’ve born the consequences of the foolish actions of a middle-aged woman. Frustrated, I complained again.

Mollie, she doesn’t know her right hand from her left.

My Husband

He was right. She didn’t, and what did God do with a great city of evildoers who did not know their right from their left?

And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left

Jonah 4:11 (ESV)

Unlike me, instead of lamenting the Ninevites’ lack of knowledge and listing the reasons why they should know better, God had pity. He took action to correct the situation. I may not be the one to correct, but I can have pity.

Relationships

Answers Rather than Questions

He always has an answer, but I’ve never heard him ask a question.

This observation about a church leader impacted someone who later shared it with me. I’ve never forgotten it either.

I thought about those words when my doctor causally said, “You might want to think about walking or swimming,” as he exited the examining room. At that time, I was walking daily and swimming twice a week. Are you exercising would have led to more helpful advice.

I’ve thought about people giving me answers rather than asking me questions the times I was told how to deal with a situation that didn’t exist. Or to try a solution I had tried many times.

And then I caught myself doing the same. I opined on a situation that needed my questions rather than my quick advice.

For three years, our family has walked with loved ones through trying times. Not only did they need help, but so did we. Advice has abounded, but I am grateful for those who asked questions first.

After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Luke 2:46

Decisions, Relationships

Planning Ahead

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring …

James 4: 13-14a

I’m an economist, so I know profits are unpredictable. I don’t depend on economic certainty. However, I wish I had known that as my peers and I age, too much becomes unpredictable. Right now, I have unkept promises to others. You know who you are. Please know you are not forgotten..

I have outstanding invitations to my home. Crises intervened, and when the dust settled, I found myself exhausted. Both an excuse and a reality.

Repeatedly, I announced “This is the year of Christmas card.” It didn’t happen for five years. During that time, two friends passed and three sold their homes, so cards were returned undelivered.

Purchased in 2020. Mailed in 2025

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  

Matthew 6:34 (ESV)

Do not be anxious is familiar.  What I’m learning along the way is Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Book Recommendations, Parenting, Relationships

A Fresh Start: Gordon Korman

Gordon Korman is one of my favorite authors. I binge read his books after I discovered them. (See here and here.) My friend Barb recently reminded me of my favorites, The Unteachables and Restart.

In the aftermath of celebrating Easter, The Unteachables and Restart would be good family read alouds for those ten and older. While not explicitly Christian, they explore two good questions: What does it mean to forgive and be forgiven? What does it mean to have the opportunity to start a new life?

In The Unteachables, teacher Zachery Kermit was shunned and relegated to the worst classrooms after an eighth-grader’s folly. Twenty-seven years later, Mr. Kermit’s former student repents, seeks to make amends, and be forgiven. His teacher resists while simultaneously helping his current students rise above injustices done to them.

In Restart, Chase has amnesia after falling off a roof. Why is his stepsister afraid of him. Why do classmates avoid him? As Chase’s memory returns, he is appalled he was a bully and wants to change.

Although the themes are serious, the creative plots and memorable characters entertain and lead to great discussions. Can we forgive the deep hurts inflicted on us and by us?