Book Recommendations, Friendship, Relationships

Community Over Competition

When I watch Olympic events, I’m always struck by the camaraderie among the women swimmers and gymnasts. After finishing their event, competing athletes congratulate—even hug—the women who took their podium position. USA gymnasts Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles even bowed to Brazilian Rebeca Andrade during the 2024 Olympics award ceremony after Andrade outperformed them to take the gold medal in Floor Exercise.

Interviews reveal admiration rather than trash talk. It looks genuine. Is it?

Olympic champion Katie Ledecky confirms that it is.

Women are amazing at lifting each other up, at giving a kind word when someone has a great race, providing feedback on a particular technique, or commiserating  … The truth is women athletes have way bigger fish to fry than each other.

Katie Ledecky, Just Add Water

Unlike team sports, gymnasts, swimmers, and runners train with athletes from different countries. Being in the trenches together builds bridges and solidifies friendships.

This Thanksgiving, I give thanks for the women in my life whom I have “trained with” and have chosen community over competition. I give thanks for our hard seasons together where solid friendships have been built.

Who is lifting you up? Whom are you lifting up?

Friendship, God's Faithfulness

Walking Each Other Home Pt.2

When all is said and done, we’re really just all walking each other home.

Ram Dass

Regardless of your opinion of Ram Dass, these words are worth considering. I’ve done it before (see here), and I did it again after the cancer diagnosis of my friend Tina. We thought the walk would be longer and slower than it was—ending in three to five years instead of last month. (See here.)

How did we find our way through the tears?

Jesus wept.

John 11:35 (ESV)

How did we find our way when God felt far off?

My God, my God why have you forsaken me?

Matthew 26:47b (ESV)

How did we find our way through our frailties?

A bruised reed he will not break and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.

Isaiah 42:3a (ESV)

How did we find our way when we needed hope?

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end.

Lamentations 3:22 (ESV)

How did we find our way when the end seemed too soon?

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;

Psalm 138:8 (ESV)

Scriptures guided us until Tina was safely home.

Whom are you walking home?

Friendship, Relationships

Another Goodbye

Easter morning 2023 with one of my dearest friends

When people die it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready to give them up.

C.A. Belmond

I didn’t want to give up Tina, but unlike my previous loss (see here), the imperfect words have been said.

I met Tina almost twenty-five years ago, but it wasn’t until the summer of 2021 that we started saying all the imperfect words to each other. As we stood at the back of our church sanctuary one Sunday, Tina told me something vulnerable from a place deep within her heart. A different friendship began with that conversation.

While our husbands ran half marathons together, Tina and I walked or rather “talked” the 8Ks. Now we said more. As we went deeper, I never worried about how I phrased something. I could just speak. Tina did not judge or give careless advice. She listened well. She responded with prayer.

Along with our imperfect words, Tina and I also spoke the perfect ones. I love you.

As I long for more, I rest in the knowledge that Tina is with the Lord. One day our conversations will continue.

Let’s keep sharing our words with our loved ones.

Family, Friendship, Parenting

The Power of Cake

All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

George Harrison.

I have incredibly wonderful memories of my grandmothers. Unconditional love, sacrifice, understanding, laughter, special gifts, family stories, and more. I remember some of those in detail but not all.

However, I remember in detail the cakes my grandmothers fed me. Almost forty years after my last bites, I can visualize the appearance and recall the taste of homemade apple stack cake made by Mamaw and the red velvet and coconut cakes Grandmommy bought from Miller’s Bakery.

What’s another cherished childhood memory? The rainbow cake my parents bought from Glenwood Bakery. That Saturday outing lasted only one or two years, but the memories have lasted sixty. The colorful layers that were revealed after that moist cake was cut were marvelous to my young eyes.

My book club shares their cake details and photos.

I hadn’t thought about my childhood cakes until I read the opening quote by George Harrison. I googled the psychology of cake, and the best description is below.

Cake is not just a food; it’s an emotion.

Anonymous

Let’s take seriously the joy of cake and its effects on us.

Favorites, Friendship

Be The First To Ask For Help *

I had three preschoolers. My nearby friend had four preschoolers. I was overwhelmed many times. She was overwhelmed most of the time. When I ran errands, I occasionally offered to include hers. She always declined, but that changed after I needed mulch.

Potential buyers were coming one afternoon. Our house was for sale in a buyer’s market, and mulch would significantly improve our curb appeal. However, my husband had the car at work the morning my realtor called.

During a quick morning phone conversation, my friend mentioned she was taking all—yes, all four—of her preschoolers shopping at a garden center. At that moment, I was desperate enough to ask for mulch. My friend drove up a couple hours later with three oversized bags, and I immediately spread under our azaleas.

More than mulch, she brought a new attitude. My future offers to help were embraced. I don’t know why. Maybe she realized that adding items to a cart did not impose. Whatever the reason, our friendship grew from my mulch request.

It didn’t stop there. Other friendships grew when I was vulnerable to ask for the help I needed.

Do you need encouragement to accept help?

*Edited and republished for the fifth anniversary of 100words.