Parenting | Page 16 of 23

Guitar Notes by Mary Amato (Reprise)

May 23rd, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

One of my favorite novels has characters who lie, sneak around, and steal. As their lives unfold, we learn their behavior is because they are angry, wounded teens who can’t communicate their pain.

Even though the writing is superb—actually I think it is brilliant at points—Guitar Notes by Amato would not be a favorite if the responsible adults were portrayed as the bad guys. Early in the book, the discerning reader knows that caring parents and teachers are doing what they think is best for the children—given their limited understanding.

Do not be deceived. Your children are carrying hidden pain because it is inescapable in this fallen world. It helps all to read and discuss books with messy relationships. However, I believe that the story’s resolution should not condone or reward bad behavior, or ridicule or punish good behavior. That is one of my tests for what is acceptable—not the honest, raw conflict along the way.

How have you set standards for your family’s reading?

Homeschooling, Memories, Parenting, Photos

Clutter? Photos Help

May 9th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

An experienced mom had learned how to fight the clutter battle, and I took her “take a photo” advice to heart.

My boys built Usborne Cut-Out models of a Viking town, Roman villa, Roman amphitheater, multiple castles, knights’ masks and more. They enjoyed their results.

However, you can’t keep that stuff around. When the models had served their purpose and then hung around a bit longer, I took a photo and we moved on.

The advice prevented arguments and showed respect for the boy’s efforts. Not only did I have years of clean surface areas, nineteen years later, I have reminders of projects that would have crumbled and been tossed by now.

This system works today. My sentimental family members are more likely to toss something if they take a photo before parting.

Do you have a method for making it easier to part with sentimental items?

Homeschooling, Parenting

Deprivation Becomes Desperation

April 25th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

One of my most embarrassing parenting moments was when a son grabbed five snack packs of chips after a t-ball game—one of each variety—which was as many as his six-year-old arms could hold. I admonished him to choose one and put the others back.

My son’s teammates seemed content with their single pack. After reflection, I realized they were not more righteous, but less desperate. We were a chip-free home.

I had seen similar reactions in other children. Sisters who were only allowed cake at holidays and birthday parties stuffed themselves silly at my son’s four-year-old birthday party. Why didn’t I stop them? They were too quick.

Deprivation leads to desperation.

As parents, especially if homeschooling, we can become so caught up in academics, sports and discipleship that we allow deprivations to creep into our children’s lives: unscheduled time, pure mom and dad time, activities that seem frivolous. The consequences can be as harmful as food deprivation.

Deprivation creeps into our own lives too. We deny ourselves rest and fellowship in order to meet parenting and homeschooling demands.

Which “chips” and “cake” do your kids lack to the point they are desperate? What about you?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

April 18th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

I have a hard time reading books about abuse. I actually stop reading any story that hints it is going in that direction. However, Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley is not only an honest look at experiencing and surviving sexual abuse, but it is also beautifully told and ends with hope.

Even better, Fighting Words empowers victims to stand up and gives them words to tell would-be abusers that their behavior is unacceptable.

Like Guitar Notes by Mary Amato (see here), this is not a novel to hand your children. It is best previewed because of the richness of the story and what it can teach parents—not because of a problem. Your tweens especially may not be ready for every page, but they are ready for the “Fighting Words” you can give them after you read Della and Suki’s story.

As our children re-enter the world after months of isolation due to the pandemic, we must again be vigilant to protect them.

Have any novels helped you start important, difficult conversations?

Basics, Homeschooling, Parenting

Rest Is Not Optional: Guest Blog

April 11th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way, I learned not to ignore taking a break when the children—and I especially—needed to rest.

Below is an excerpt from Beth Sterne’s website Put Off Procrastination. Put on Peace. Here

Some years ago our son entered the front door and saw me sitting on the sofa reading a book. He stopped immediately and said, “I want to see more of that around here!”

He knew the path of my feet should take me to rest along the way. And he knew I most often ignored that truth.

Since “rest” is “to cease work in order to relax or refresh oneself,” we see rest as self- serving. Let’s realize it means being a good steward of the heart, mind, and body God has given us to use on earth.

What are two “rest busters” that steal our refreshment?

Viewing activities as requirements instead of opportunities. We don’t have to participate in every educational, church, business, or social function.

Not setting boundaries. Sometimes, by taking on every project or fetching whatever is wanted, we’ve “taught” colleagues and family we don’t need rest.

If appropriate, we can say, “No, not now. These are Mom’s Minutes to be quiet.”