100 Words

Asking All The Questions

February 15th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

Betty White drove Kathleen’s childhood carpool. Yes, that Betty White. Kathleen chatted with the Clintons while they chose pens at the local bookstore. Yes, that President and Secretary of State. Kathleen didn’t know much about football, but she had been engaged to a Heisman trophy winner and doubled-dated Joe Namath.

And yet, nothing about my mundane life was mundane to Kathleen. She wanted to know what I was cooking for Thanksgiving dinner. What were my favorite recipes? What was I reading? Any good sales lately?

How did I cope with memories during my trip to Brazil where my cousin lived before she passed? Was the trip healing? Kathleen said I was brave to return to Brazil so soon.

Kathleen was the brave one. Her life was not only filled with celebrities but also with heartaches. She never paused for sympathy when a past event was mentioned as part of a relevant story. I watched her current heartaches from afar.

What made Kathleen interested in everyone around her? So outwardly focused? So inquisitive? So amazing?

I can guess, but guessing isn’t knowing. I never asked enough questions, but Kathleen asked all her questions.

Why don’t we ask more questions?

Friendship, Photos

Happy Valentine’s Day

February 8th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

Friends Gary and Lois on their wedding day (1975)

I love wedding photos. I love them enough to host Valentine’s Day “wedding photo” parties—bring your wedding photos and the funny, embarrassing and tender stories that accompany them.

Of all my friends’ wedding photos that I’ve seen, the one above is my favorite. Lois and Gary wed a couple of years after meeting and flirting at a work Christmas party. Between those events, a boss caught them kissing in an elevator. “Perhaps you could find a better place,” he suggested.

I met the couple twenty-five years after this photo was taken. Of all the wedding photos I have seen, none have helped me understand a couple’s history like this casual black and white snapshot. Lois and Gary’s love story resonated after I saw their youthful selves.

I easily visualized the woman above sitting alone until the friendly, happy guy above approached and proceeded to entertain her the rest of the evening. I saw her hopes crushed when she learned the obstacles to their marriage.

I see the love and chemistry that they still share today.

May you enjoy reminiscing with your photos this Valentines Day.

Photos, Relationships

Staying in Touch (Reprise)

February 1st, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

During Covid-19, my husband and I needed ways to connect with members of our isolated church family that did not involve physical contact. When we were physically apart due to travel, I sent tourist postcards. Those wouldn’t work this time.

While my sons were at college, Pictures of the Day (POTD) kept our immediate family connected. (See here.) Why not expand the POTD to our church family?

Printing and sending photos were time-consuming, but more interesting than writing letters when there was little news to share.

The first photos I sent during Covid-19 were of the woodpeckers, jays, cardinals, and chickadees that visited the feeder on my deck.

When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs.
Ansel Adams

I appreciated my backyard more because of the response I received. I saw my surroundings through the lens of those who didn’t have the view I did.

I also gained a permanent communication tool. Eventually photos were mailed to extended family. Five years later, my ninety-year-old aunt eagerly awaits the next batch.

How did you stay in touch during Covid-19?

Relationships

Staying in Touch

January 25th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than for other people.
Thomas Mann 1929 Nobel Prize in Literature

According to the definition above, I am a writer. So, what’s a writer to do when she has people she wants to stay in touch with? Or express her affection? Or her concern? And she has enough regrets over unwritten letters. (See here.)

Steal from others.

Don’t worry. This theft is legal. There’s even a book with encouragement that I highly recommend. Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon.

I copy uncopyrighted poems and lyrics. I recycle the fronts of greeting cards. I pilfer old calendars. I clip cartoons. All are better expressed and more interesting than my words.

I trust my friends so know my heart. It’s not a lazy exercise. Some days it’s quite time consuming to find the right item, but in a world of drifting away, the words and art of others are my lifeline.

Thank you, friends, for the ways you stay in touch with me.

Friendship, Priorities, Relationships

Goodbye, Dear Friend

January 19th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

When people die, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready to give them up.
C.A. Belmond

The photo is blurry. The memory is clear.

Why do I cherish a dark, blurry photo?

Because the photo was taken in the middle of a heartfelt conversation with my dear friend. I still hold a slight grudge against the person who interrupted us that morning and took the photo.

Kathleen and I corresponded for years before we met in person—two days prior to this photo. She and her husband traveled over 300 miles to be at a major event in my life. Why? Because that’s what friends do, even if you only know each other through an online book group.

I communicated with Kathleen regularly. However, her name had been on my “to write” list since her husband passed in October. I wanted to write the perfect remembrance and the perfect Christmas thank you note. I trust Kathleen knew my heart because she won’t receive those words. I woke on Saturday to the news of her unexpected passing.

So, let’s all agree to say the imperfect words while we still have time.

Grief is the price we pay for love. Queen Elizabeth II