Relationships

Let’s Ban Some Words This Holiday

November 18th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Comparison is the death of joy.

Mark Twain

For years, I have disliked words ending in “est.” Why?

Those words masqueraded as a fact when they were an opinion.

Those words marginalized me and my friends and probably you—especially the word “hardest.” Especially when “hardest” was combined with “parenting.”

“Parents have the hardest job in the world.” What about childless couples dealing with crushed dreams?

“Single moms have the hardest job in the world.” What about married moms with abusive husbands?

“Parents of toddlers have the hardest job in the world.” What about parents of teenagers whom are succumbing to cultural dangers?

“Parents of teenagers have the hardest job in the world.” What about sleep-deprived parents of infants. Or parents of struggling adults?

You’ve heard it. And why do we add “in the world.” I don’t know. Do you?

Once thing I learned along the way is that all people “have it hard,” and all stages of parenting seem the hardest. However, I do not wish I had known that fact. Believing the myth that parenting would become easier was comforting.

May “est” words be banned this season while we gather with family and friends and foes.

 

 

Basics, God's Faithfulness

Inheritance: A Deeper Understanding

November 11th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.

Luke 10:20 (ESV)

I knew that God wrote the names of his children in his Book of Life. I knew that my name was written there. However, my understanding deepened with the passing of my beloved Uncle Floyd in November 2020.

Mollie with Uncle Floyd (August 4, 1928 – November 13, 2020)

When I relayed the news of Uncle Floyd’s passing, relatives listed the possessions they wanted. Only one asked—weeks after her requests—if she was in the will. She wasn’t.

I could only listen. My brother, who held the unopened will, was on vacation. I only knew my uncle’s hints about my inheritance.

Days later, I read these sobering words.

Any other relatives of mine who are not mentioned in this Last Will and Testament have been intentionally omitted and are not to receive anything from my estate.

Inheritance was clearly specified—as specific as the Book of Life.

 

The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. Revelation 3:5 (ESV)

Homeschooling, Parenting

Writing Advice: Quasi Podcasts

November 4th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

I attended a Smithsonian American Art Museum Teacher Workshop because I liked the exhibition, Georgia O’Keefe and Ansel Adams: Natural Affinities. However, fifteen years later, I remember the writing advice more than the art. Whether your children have writing assignments, or you have reports, the following might be helpful.

Smithsonian workshop participants were given MP3 players for classroom use—cheap ones but still a free toy—and told to replicate an experiment in a Bethesda school. Those students wrote about works of art, recorded their work, listened, rewrote, and rerecorded. The steps were repeated until the students were satisfied with their quasi podcasts. 

The Smithsonian employee in charge thought it was “educational bubblegum,” and therefore, was surprised with the process and the results. Students heard mistakes that they missed when they read their work. This was especially true when a word was overused. By listening, students also quickly realized when more explanation was needed.

The school emphasized working in groups. One interesting result was that students were more willing to offer helpful advice when they listened to a peer’s work compared to reading a peer’s work. I wonder if it’s because listening is slower than reading.

Have you received unusual academic advice?

Relationships

Anger that Can Be Trusted

October 28th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

As you consider those who have wronged you, let Jesus be angry on your behalf. His anger can be trusted.

Dane C.  Ortland, Gentle and Lowly

I texted this quote to a friend who is angry. She has righteous anger regarding evil done to her. I thought Ortland’s words would help.

One evening—after realizing I was angry with a person who had been rude and careless with things I hold dear—I realized that quote applied to me. I had thought I was annoyed, but now I had to deal with my newfound anger. I thought of being on guard. I thought of practical steps I should take in this relationship. And then, I saw my text on my phone screen. 

The most helpful plan was to allow Christ to be angry on my behalf—to trust his anger and remedy. Only he had the perfect solution. My responsibility was not negated, but I no longer carried a burden.

For the anger of man does not produce the righteous of God.   James 1:20 (ESV)

Relationships

Coping With Jealousy

October 21st, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?

1 Corinthians 3:3 (ESV)

How have I dealt with jealousy? Sometimes well and sometimes not.

Let’s start with the not. I had something someone wanted. A gift from God. An older, godly woman advised me to apologize. Apologize? For something I had been given? I talked with my husband, and he agreed that it didn’t seem right to accommodate jealousy with an apology.

In retrospect, although I was sympathetic, I never specifically said I was sorry the other person didn’t have what I did.

A soft answer turns away wrath…

Proverbs 15:1a (ESV)

Decades later, for excellent reasons, I was given an heirloom that another wanted. Very much. By then, I was more savvy concerning jealousy and knew the heirloom would be a forever barrier. I wanted my relationship more, and so, I gave the heirloom to another relative, who met the requirements of the giver.

Another time, I confronted the person and later cried. Unfortunately, I’ve learned that coping with another’s jealousy is hard.

Any wisdom for dealing with jealousy?