100 Words

Enough Is Enough

April 1st, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

When I homeschooled, the boys and I saw quarterly plays at a nearby university. We liked The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe so much we bought tickets two years in a row. My husband joined us the second time.

During the 40-minute drive to the auditorium, we listened to a book on tape. On the way home, we discussed the one-hour play. Math worksheets were waiting at my boys’ desks—for after they wrote about the play.

Once, I invited another homeschool family to Ramona, which was based on Beverly Cleary’s series. My friend had taught at a local school before homeschooling. During the drive, I told her my lesson plans.

“Mollie, the field trip fills the day,” she admonished. “Getting there and getting home with a short debrief is all that can be expected. Enough is enough.”

It was freeing to think like a professional, and not a mom who worried about not doing enough—especially as Spring gave us more opportunities for outings.

Is enough being enough for you?

Friendship, Memories

Wound Openers (Reprise)

March 25th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

An innocent acquaintance opened an old wound with her simple question (see here). I understood my unexpected reaction, but what if I hadn’t?

One morning during a conversation among friends and acquaintances, one woman made a statement about World War II. Another disagreed. That seemed the end of it until one came to me and expressed her anger. Frequently, she encountered the woman who had disagreed with her. Each time, ugly, intense feelings overcame her. She wanted to forgive the woman—for what I thought was a benign statement.

I gave some shallow advice, but my husband immediately identified the problem. The words had opened a wound that needed healing.

I knew that the father of our European friend was a businessman in territory captured by the Japanese during World War II. I knew our friend was interned by the Japanese and spent her teen years in conditions slightly better than a prisoner of war camp. I didn’t know that although she immigrated to the U.S. as an adult and told stories of God’s grace and care during those difficult years, our friend still had wounds that bled easily. Thankfully, she agreed to counseling.

Any insight into identifying old wounds?

Homeschooling

Homeschooling Is Bigger Than Us

March 18th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Due to lack of time and money, our children attended their first homeschool convention when our oldest was entering the teen years. Back then, attendance was at its peak. Aisles were jammed. Lines were long.

Our boys roamed while we shopped. Their favorite activity was talking to the vendors of curriculum that we used. Who would have guessed? Over two days, they returned again and again to one publisher to offer advice and critiques concerning the software flaws that frustrated us.

One child asked for a writing program I had not considered.

We gave each twenty dollars to spend. Their choices surprised us but not as much as their reaction to a convention center overflowing with homeschoolers from multiple states.

Our sons absorbed that homeschooling was a movement bigger than our family, bigger than our local homeschool groups. Our family was part of something gigantic.

I found that a homeschool convention yielded more than curriculum and advice. It was perhaps more worthwhile for my sons than for me.

What are your convention plans this year?

Homeschooling, Parenting

Experiencing Disorganization

March 11th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

The Spring race season brings the anticipation of both familiar and new race venues. In June 2018, my husband and I looked forward to a 10-Miler an hour away. The advertised course was unique.

We started before sunrise to have plenty of time. It was a good decision because the directions were confusing, which resulted in us exiting and re-entering the highway twice. Upon arrival, there weren’t signs for parking. We wandered the complex with other cars. After parking, there weren’t directions to the race-packet pick-up. There was no visible start line and no signs pointing the way.

How could a race with over 1000 participants be so disorganized? Our confidence in the race organizers dropped and our stress mounted with each challenge. And our race-morning adrenaline was already high.

This was one of those times I experienced the result of someone else’s disorganization rather than mine. It was a lesson I did not forget. Disorganization has real costs to others.

My children were grown, but I was still teaching. If I was disorganized, I not only wasted my students’ time, but also reduced their ability to learn. Their confidence in me as their teacher diminished. Sobering.

Decisions, Homeschooling, Parenting

Choosing A Pace

March 4th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Snow is lingering—if not on the ground, then in my mind. I dread its loss. My husband sees its exit as the start of the race season.

Training matters, but winning races involves strategy as much as physical fitness. My husband was not yet a runner when he learned this truth from a collegiate, cross-country roommate.

Runners have pulled ahead too soon and been unable to maintain their speed. Or withdrawn. Runners have not followed the leaders’ surges and later been unable to close the gap. Runners have won by staying behind before their own late surge.

Pull ahead? Stay with the group? Hang back and wait?

Successful runners know when to leave the pack and when to let the pack leave them.

Along the way, I learned that the same strategies applied to parenting and homeschooling decisions.

Should I stick with standard curricula and goals? Was I falling behind and dragging my children with me if I resisted the latest parenting or homeschooling trends—especially when acquaintances were on an accelerated track? Would matching their pace lead to victory? Or defeat? Our optimal strategy was occasionally unclear.

How do you choose your pace?