Friendship

Occupation? Being a Friend

May 4th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.

Joseph Parry(1841-1903)

My days are filled with differing amounts of dribs and drabs. The major ones are seeing friends and neighbors, phone calls, tutoring, teaching, and many types of writing—although by definition, dribs and drabs are never major.

By moving from project to project, I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything by the end of the day. I might if I taught all day or wrote all day or made phone calls all day or was paid to do any of my dribs and drabs.

I like my variety, and I don’t want to be paid for what I do, but what do I the during the day? I asked my husband once after feeling like I had wasted a day.

You are a friend.

I like that label. The next time I am asked, “What do you do during the day?” I hope I remember to say “I am a friend.”

The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend.

Henry David Thoreau

God's Faithfulness

Turbulence Ahead

April 27th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

I fear flying. While returning from my grandfather’s funeral, I consoled myself with the fact that I’d only have to make one more flight—to my grandmother’s funeral. Seventeen years later, I’ve made at least twenty round trips, each dreaded.

Two weeks ago, as I awaited takeoff, the pilot announced, “Turbulence ahead. Most likely the whole way.” As the plane jolted its way through the air, I was undisturbed. Why? Both air traffic control and the pilots knew what to expect. If they were undeterred, why should I worry?

A previous pilot warned, “We’re about to land, and we’ll bump ourselves all the way to the ground.” Again, the warning kept me from being alarmed.

Why couldn’t I always be warned about severe turbulence, not only in the air but in my life? If only God would announce, “Turbulence ahead.”

And then I remembered Jesus’s words.

In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33 (ESV)

Even more than air traffic control and pilots who made take-off and landing decisions, Jesus knew whatever lay ahead was under his control. Why should I worry?

Turbulence ahead.

Decisions, Relationships

I Don’t Want to Change the World

April 20th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

While prowling the internet for great children’s books, I noticed a trend. Our youngest are being encouraged to become “world changers.” I immediately became sad. I don’t want to change the world so why put that burden on our youngest?

I may want to change my husband or children or others who regularly cross my path. I just can’t be in charge of the world. I have a poor success rate with my small sphere—I can’t even change myself—so expanding my vision would not be helpful.

True world changers—Jesus being the best example—worked in increments. Situation by situation. Person by person. True world changers followed their interests and passions. Changing the world was a byproduct.

Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.

Mother Teresa

Please don’t ask the world of me. It’s too much.

Book Recommendations, Lies I Believed, Parenting

Lies I Believed: Parents Can Fix Their Children

April 13th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Pray then like this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Matthew 6:9

One son held a grudge against a teacher. “Had I prayed with my son?” asked another teacher.

“Yes.”

“Had I prayed for him?”

“Yes.”

“Why wasn’t his attitude ‘fixed?'” she wondered. Maybe I hadn’t prayed enough.

“Had I encouraged another son who was shy?” asked a friend.

“Yes.”

“Perhaps he needs an incentive.”

“One morning, I offered a dime for every time he said ‘Hello.’ He declined.”

My friend wondered if there was another way to “fix” him.

I learned quickly I could not “fix” my sons. However, I felt guilty when I couldn’t, which probably meant deep down I thought I should.

It was decades later that I read The Lord’s Prayer by Thomas Watson. He begins by examining what it means for God to be our father.

God is the best Father in terms of Wisdom. He knows the fittest means to bring about his own design. … God is the best Father because he can Reform his children. God knows how to make his elect children better—he can change their hearts.

Thomas Watson, The Lord’s Prayer

Have you been expected to fix someone?

Parenting

A Kid Needs A Break

April 6th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline…. But also every single day a kid needs a break.

Anne Lamott, Bird By Bird

I agree with Lamott, but I’ve seen the unfortunate consequences of parents regularly giving their children breaks. Who should?

My favorite answer is grandparents, but what if they aren’t available? Or best suited for the situation?

One night, my teen-aged nephew was speeding and was pulled by a police officer—who gave him a break.

I can give you a ticket, or you can call a parent to come here so we can talk.

A compassionate police officer

My nephew called my brother, who confiscated his keys and grounded him.

Years later, my nephew pulled a speeder. The driver was shaking and about to cry. My nephew said, “I’m going to do for you what someone did for me. I can give you a ticket, or you can call a parent to come here so we can talk.” She made the call.

I didn’t think to pray for people to give my sons breaks, but they received some crucial ones.

Do know children who need a break?