Mollie T. Cox, Author at 100 Words

Weeping With Those Who Weep

July 6th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

And we urge you brothers to admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
I Thessalonians 5: 14 (ESV)

My usual response when friends and family struggled aligned with 1Thessalonians 5:14. I’m wired to encourage and help.

Along the way, I’m learning that a different response may be most beneficial.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15 (ESV)

During the winter, I was devastated when people close to our family attempted to take advantage of us—with hugs and smiles thrown in for good measure. The most helpful words were “That was awful. I’m mad too,” followed by the reminder that it was their pattern.

This spring, when I experienced a serious health challenge, “You’ll heal and be fine” did not encourage. I did heal, and I am fine, but at the time, mourning and prayers were the balm I needed.

As a dear friend walks a difficult road, she needs help and encouragement, but now I understand how much she needs me to weep with her.

Are you in a season of rejoicing or weeping?

God's Faithfulness, Relationships

The Finish Line

June 29th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

July 4th used to be the day all my aunts and uncles called and sang Happy Birthday to me. Uncle Gene always told the same joke. He had called the White House and ordered fireworks for me.

Only one aunt remains to sing Happy Birthday, but the others left me with memories. Uncle Floyd also left me the contents of his house in Oklahoma. Except for a chandelier that I shipped, the items I kept needed to fit in checked airline bags or squeezed into spare space in my brother’s car.

Why did I choose the item below?

This figurine symbolized both God’s and Uncle Floyd’s faithfulness to the end of Uncle Floyd’s earthly Finish Line. It also reminded me that I was at the Finish Line with Uncle Floyd. Others had dropped out of his life—some due to pettiness, grudges, or greediness. Others were spectators and not participants.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
Galations 6:7 (ESV)

When Uncle Floyd wrote his will, he would not be mocked either.

May we all finish well.

Parenting

Limited Parenting, Unlimited Expectations

June 22nd, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Economics is the study of satisfying unlimited wants with limited resources.
Most Economics Textbooks

I’m an economist by nature and training, so why did it take years to realize that parenting is an economics problem—satisfying children’s unlimited wants with parents limited resources.

As a friend and I discussed our childhood hurts, we acknowledged that most were due to our parents’ limitations. They did not have the money, energy, training, or experiences to meet our childhood needs, wants, or expectations.

I have also long pondered how children’s expectations of parents have escalated over the decades. And I have lamented that family and community support have eroded. The result? The gap between children’s wants and parents’ resources has widened.

How did the analogy between parenting and the definition of economics help me? I gained perspective. I cannot completely satisfy my children any more than the production and allocation of goods can completely satisfy all consumers. However, I now have the vocabulary to explain this principle.

In which areas are you facing unlimited demands with limited resources?

Parenting

Learning to Rally

June 15th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Defeat doesn’t finish a man. Quit does. A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.
Richard Nixon

One of the hardest things about parenting is that our children are not like us. Preferences and temperaments do not align, which can lead to gaps in training particular children.

For me, one training gap was rallying. It never occurred to me to teach my sons to come back from defeat. Growing up—with few exceptions—I rallied. I got back up. I got back out there. I didn’t have a choice. At least it felt that way, and so, I thought rebounding came naturally. And it did to some family members.

How do you teach your kids to rally? I don’t know because I didn’t. But, I wish I had known or at least learned it along the way.

Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
Wimston Churchill

Which parenting gap caught you unawares?

Decisions, Parenting

They Didn’t Do It All*

June 8th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

In 1998, I flew to Tennessee to celebrate my precious grandmother’s 88th birthday. On the plane, I decided to ask a great-aunt how she juggled raising two daughters with church and community responsibilities. I don’t know why I chose Aunt Dottie. I liked her, but we were not close. Maybe because she was kind, cheerful, patient, modest, long-suffering, and—as an empty nester—she had started a successful home business.

Great-Aunt Dottie (2000)

Our only time alone was driving Aunt Dottie to pick up fish dinners for the family meal. I vividly remember the exit of the restaurant parking lot where I started the conversation. More intensely, I remember Aunt Dottie’s answer and what it provoked: vindication and regret.

I didn’t take on additional responsibilities. None of the mothers did. We didn’t expect that of each other until our children were older.
Great-Aunt Dottie

I had wrongly accepted the unrealistic expectations of others and myself. Women have come a long way since Aunt Dottie’s child-raising days, but we have also regressed. I wish I had asked sooner.

Do you have an untapped source for advice?

*Edited and republished for the fourth anniversary of 100words.