Author: Mollie T. Cox

Homeschooling

Just Another way of Educating

August 31st, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

When I started homeschooling in 1991, it was not a prevalent method of educating children. I wasn’t in uncharted waters, but rather recently discovered waters—full of hope and promises.

Along the way, I learned that homeschooling is just another way of educating children. It has advantages over public and private education, but it also has its downfalls. To think otherwise is naive.

Homeschooling brings families closer. Yes, because children share common experiences, friends, and curricula. No, because family members have greater opportunities and time for conflict.

Homeschooling produces better-educated children. Yes, because special interests and needs of children can be accommodated and information is covered more efficiently. No, because limited resources, illnesses, disobedient children, and needs outside the family have a greater impact on learning.

Children prefer the freedom of homeschooling. Some do. Some don’t.

Homeschooling allows flexibility. Yes, because holidays, travel, and working around family needs are easier. No, because homeschooling requires a workload that can only be met by adhering to a schedule—especially when educating multiple children.

Any parent can homeschool. Yes, because homeschooling doesn’t require special skills, training, or intelligence. No, because homeschooling requires energy and stamina.

God bless the students in your lives.

Parenting

Surprises, Not Secrets

August 24th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

I’m bringing you chocolate ice cream on Sunday. Don’t tell. It’s a secret.”

“No, Mollie,” my husband admonished after I got off the phone. “The ice cream is a surprise. Not a secret. Children should not have secrets with adults.”

Of course. What was I thinking? Surprises are innocent and are intended to be revealed. Not so with all secrets.

Especially as a new school year starts and activities fill our calendar, I need to remember that I, and the children in my life, face a world filled with dangers. My language should help protect them.

Not only should children be prohibited from having secrets with adults, but also with other children. Unfortunately, I know three adult women who were younger than ten when friends their age exposed them to porn. My husband was offered hard liquor at a Boy Scout Camp. He declined and left the tent.

I’m average at changing habits, but I’m trying to remember to use “secret” sparingly and never when I mean “surprise.”

Which other words should I not interchange?

Relationships

A Measure of Friendship

August 17th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

So, what are you making for dinner tonight?

I used to think that the closeness of women could be measured by their sharing of worries or ambitions or secrets. Or supporting each other during times of crisis. These do occur among friends. However, we’ve all read stories about people rescuing strangers during a flood or dropping groceries on a stranger’s doorstep. And people have said they couldn’t believe that the person beside them on a plane told them about their abusive marriage. However, only those closest to me have asked, “So, what are you making for dinner tonight?”

Along the way, I learned that the closest of friends discuss the mundane.

The children spilled a drink in the back seat.

I took seven bags to the thrift store yesterday.

The strap on my sandal broke.

Let me tell you about my crazy dream.

I gained back nine pounds.

Have you bought your Thanksgiving turkey?

Are your daffodils blooming?

I have heard or said all the above—but none with strangers.

So, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Decisions

Paris Olympics: Forgoing Perfection

August 10th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

My memories of watching gymnastics began with Soviet Olga Korbut during the 1972 Olympics. She might have been on the other side of the Cold War, but she enchanted us all. Not only did Korbut popularize the sport, but she also reduced tensions between the U.S. and the Soviet Union.

I followed Olympic gymnastics from the Olga Korbut era until 1996, and then returned in 2012. I was struck by a change that seemed especially pronounced these past weeks in Paris: the importance of sticking the landing.

In my earliest memories, sticking the landing was almost a prerequisite for a spot on the podium. In Paris, sticking the landing was the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. The cake was height, complexity, and innovation. Commentators informed me that the difficulty of a gymnast’s routine made sticking the landing uncertain, but that same difficulty could overcome penalties. Risk triumphed perfection.

I’ve known that perfectionism was an enemy, but watching gymnasts accept potential mistakes in order to reach the podium was a good reminder.

Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it’s about earning approval and acceptance.

Brene Brown
Relationships

Phone Ministry

August 3rd, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Someday I will be remembered for the phone calls I never made.

Yoko Ono

I spend hours on the phone. My husband jokes about my phone ministry, which makes me feel better about time that used to feel wasted. Along the way, I learned that heartfelt phone calls are never a waste of time, even if the conversations seem trivial.

My negative perception of phone calls was a result of too many hours trapped listening to slander or complaints about unimportant matters or complaints about situations a person was unwilling to change. I should have hung up.

My opinion changed after a friend lamented that she had not cleaned her closet that day because she had spent time chatting with her daughter and daughter-in-law on the phone. However, the conversations she described seemed more valuable than a clean closet.

My friend’s email reminded me to focus on the blessing and joy phone calls can bring and not the items on my to-do list.

Certain types of intimacy emerge on a phone call that might never occur if you were sitting right next to the other person.

Errol Morris Film Director

Thank you, Friends, for calling me and taking my calls.