Surprises, Not Secrets

I’m bringing you chocolate ice cream on Sunday. Don’t tell. It’s a secret.”

“No, Mollie,” my husband admonished after I got off the phone. “The ice cream is a surprise. Not a secret. Children should not have secrets with adults.”

Of course. What was I thinking? Surprises are innocent and are intended to be revealed. Not so with all secrets.

Especially as a new school year starts and activities fill our calendar, I need to remember that I, and the children in my life, face a world filled with dangers. My language should help protect them.

Not only should children be prohibited from having secrets with adults, but also with other children. Unfortunately, I know three adult women who were younger than ten when friends their age exposed them to porn. My husband was offered hard liquor at a Boy Scout Camp. He declined and left the tent.

I’m average at changing habits, but I’m trying to remember to use “secret” sparingly and never when I mean “surprise.”