Basics

World Letter Writing Day

August 28th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

December 7th is National Letter Writing Day. Unless a Christmas card counts, it seems a burden to add to the holidays. I prefer World Letter Writing Day on the reasonable date of September 1st.

While both bless, written words have advantages over spoken ones.

Letters linger. I almost cried—okay, I did cry—when a current, long-distant friend’s note reminisced about meeting me in fourth grade, and her prayers for me over the years. I don’t think she would have said those words out loud. I reread Dawn’s nourishing words several times the first day.

Even better, letters linger for decades.

Boxes of Saved Letters

Maybe I don’t need to know that during her college years my mother regularly had sore throats or needed a new pair of black pumps or sang in a trio, but it gives me insight into her 1950s concerns. I definitely like knowing that my serious, quiet aunt was quite the flirt when she dated my uncle. I need the loving—and sometimes admiring—notes of small sons who are now grown and more jaded about their mother.

Blessed are the letter readers and the letter savers, and especially the letter writers. Which are you?

Friendship, Homeschooling, Parenting

What Covid-19 Affirmed

August 21st, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

Right now, in my area, the Covid-19 risk is decreasing. As I watched the media coverage the first year of Covid-19, I saw celebrities discover:

Managing life at home requires skill. Lots of skill;

Not traveling whenever or wherever you want is an eyeopener;

Homeschooling is hard. Very hard;

Untrained moms and dads can homeschool;

Cooking three meals a day for weeks and weeks requires creativity;

Not having a daily hair stylist means your hair is not perfect and takes more time than you have;

Not having a make-up artist means your make-up is not perfect and takes time than you have;

Caring for children 24 hours a day is exhausting;

Slowing down brings joy;

Your children want you more than the stuff your money bought them.

Thank you, Rich and Famous—especially morning news anchors—for your honesty. You may have lived a radically different life from mine pre-Covid-19, but in some ways, you were like me all along.

What did you learn watching others adjust due to the pandemic?

Parenting

The Fragility Of Children

August 14th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

A friend recently asked our book group if we looked at our children and marveled at what we had created. My immediate response was, “I actually wonder where they came from.”

After reflection, I did remember the marvel of my firstborn and thinking “This little person grew inside me.” And then I was off and running to care for him.

Now that my sons are grown, I can see the effects of genetics and family and experiences. And marvel a bit.

Adult children analyze their parents. That is a true fact. What I learned—and my sons may not realize—is that parents reciprocate. We try to solve the mystery of whom our children have become.

These musings led my husband and me to one fundamental conclusion. Children are fragile. More fragile than we can imagine. They may rumble and tumble and hop right back, but that is only an outer facade. Inside, they are glass. They break over events that we consider too minor to note.

And that is why we need to address worries (see here), grievances (see here), and questions (see here)—to expose the breaks and make repairs.

Made any repairs recently? Do you need repairing?

Parenting

A Jar of Questions

August 7th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

I love the idea of a Worry Jar (see here) and a Grievance Jar (see here). Along the way, I became convinced that a Jar of Questions could also be helpful.

No matter how well we know our family, they have buried questions—some frivolous and some not—but all important to them.

A loved daughter waited until she was an adult to ask her dad why he never carried her. All the family photos showed her in her mother’s arms; her close-in-age sister was always in her father’s arms. Why?

The simple answer was not the imaginings that a child might have. Her sister was heavier; the extra weight was too much for her petite mother’s hip to bear.

I remember the questions I couldn’t ask out loud. And the ones I didn’t remember at the right time. Like a Grievance Jar and a Worry Jar, a jar set aside to collect our questions—and facilitate answers—could be healing.

Do you have any lingering questions from your childhood? Is there still time to ask?

Money

If Money Can Fix It…

July 31st, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way, I heard a saying that stuck with me and the few I shared it with.

If money can fix it, it’s not a problem.

It seemed idealistic or at least unrealistic until I considered what money can’t fix. Money can’t fix a miscarriage, a wayward child, death of a loved one, abandonment, or betrayal. I have friends and relatives who would have liquidated all assets if money could have cured their spouse’s cancer.

One night, a son called with bad news. He finished by reminding, “Don’t worry, Mom. Money can fix it, and if money can fix it…”

Can money fix any of your concerns?