Homeschooling | 100 Words

Unhappy Happiness

October 25th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

A parent’s job is never to make their kids happy or smooth every bump in the road… Children learn by messing up, getting frustrated, and not getting their own way.
Becky Kennedy, Mom and Clinical Psychologist

Thank you, Becky Kennedy, for standing up for what I believe—something I understand more after seeing the unhappiness that comes from making children happy.

I’m hurting these days. As I teach and prepare lessons for my eager-to-learn students, I think of certain children I love and wish I could teach. I can’t. Why? Their mothers are absorbed in making sure they are continually happy. Therefore, they are academically behind, socially impaired, and often unpleasant to be around.

Otherwise, they are great kids. or could be if their moms didn’t try to keep them happy at all costs—costs which fall on parents, siblings, neighbors, and the teachers who are required to teach them.

As the mother of adult children and the friend of many mothers of adult children, here is what I’ve learned along the way. Even if you should make children happy, it is impossible. The only path is to do what is best for them—which rarely involves happiness.

Decisions, Homeschooling, Parenting

Following Other Families

September 6th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.
Henri Nouwen

I thought the perfect families and homeschoolers showcased in magazines and at conventions could show me the way. It turned out they could only give me a picture of the destination because they had never been in my parenting and homeschooling desert.

I don’t regret what I read and attended. I do regret not realizing the journey presented could not be replicated. There were many reasons. The advice-giving parents were from a different generation. They had different challenges and resources. Others had not finished their journey and so they only thought they knew the way.

As the school year geared up, and the challenges abounded, my peers and I rarely had people who could lead us. We stumbled around together and eventually made it.

Almost twenty years have passed since my sons graduated. The desert has changed during that time. As your school year progresses, may you have people to lead you and the wisdom to know who they are.

Thank you, Marie Hannah, for surviving the desert and returning to guide others.

Homeschooling

Did I Homeschool Because I Was A Homeschooler?

July 19th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

“We sin because we are sinners; we are not sinners because we sin.
John Phillips 1969

As I thought about the truth of Phillips’ statement, I realized there are many corollaries.

Artists are not artists because they create. Artists create because they are artists. Singers must sing. Writers must write. Teachers must teach.

Was I a homeschooler because I homeschooled my children or did I homeschool my children because, in my heart, I was a homeschooler?

That distinction led me to understand why some parents homeschool with passion while others do their duty. (Students learn under both.)

I think the distinction matters most when making decisions. Did I continue to homeschool year after year because I was a homeschooler? While being a homeschooler at heart may give more passion, does it perhaps make it harder to let go when the time is over?

Which are you? Just wondering.

Homeschooling, Parenting, Relationships

Underestimating the Gap

September 7th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

What happens if your friend lives 200 miles away, but both of you think the distance is 100 miles, and you agree to meet halfway?

What happens if you both decide to drive another twenty-five miles after not seeing each other at the fifty-mile mark?

What happens if you both decide to drive another fifteen miles before giving up?

You will never meet your friend, but both of you will think that the other reneged. You will think you gave 90% while your friend did not give 10%. The relationship will be damaged.

I heard this illustration when I was newly married. I was working full-time and working on my doctoral dissertation part time. My husband was working part time and writing his doctoral dissertation full-time. The gap between our actual free time—for family, friends and volunteering—and our perceived free time was large.

While a map can settle location misperceptions, it can’t prove time, emotional or ability gaps. The only solution is extending goodwill. These days, as I give my “90%” and lament others’ lack of “10%,” I try to remember that I am probably misinformed.

Have you tired of giving your “90%” while others give their “10%”?

Homeschooling

Just Another way of Educating

August 31st, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

When I started homeschooling in 1991, it was not a prevalent method of educating children. I wasn’t in uncharted waters, but rather recently discovered waters—full of hope and promises.

Along the way, I learned that homeschooling is just another way of educating children. It has advantages over public and private education, but it also has its downfalls. To think otherwise is naive.

Homeschooling brings families closer. Yes, because children share common experiences, friends, and curricula. No, because family members have greater opportunities and time for conflict.

Homeschooling produces better-educated children. Yes, because special interests and needs of children can be accommodated and information is covered more efficiently. No, because limited resources, illnesses, disobedient children, and needs outside the family have a greater impact on learning.

Children prefer the freedom of homeschooling. Some do. Some don’t.

Homeschooling allows flexibility. Yes, because holidays, travel, and working around family needs are easier. No, because homeschooling requires a workload that can only be met by adhering to a schedule—especially when educating multiple children.

Any parent can homeschool. Yes, because homeschooling doesn’t require special skills, training, or intelligence. No, because homeschooling requires energy and stamina.

God bless the students in your lives.