Mollie T. Cox, Author at 100 Words

Deprivation Becomes Desperation

April 25th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

One of my most embarrassing parenting moments was when a son grabbed five snack packs of chips after a t-ball game—one of each variety—which was as many as his six-year-old arms could hold. I admonished him to choose one and put the others back.

My son’s teammates seemed content with their single pack. After reflection, I realized they were not more righteous, but less desperate. We were a chip-free home.

I had seen similar reactions in other children. Sisters who were only allowed cake at holidays and birthday parties stuffed themselves silly at my son’s four-year-old birthday party. Why didn’t I stop them? They were too quick.

Deprivation leads to desperation.

As parents, especially if homeschooling, we can become so caught up in academics, sports and discipleship that we allow deprivations to creep into our children’s lives: unscheduled time, pure mom and dad time, activities that seem frivolous. The consequences can be as harmful as food deprivation.

Deprivation creeps into our own lives too. We deny ourselves rest and fellowship in order to meet parenting and homeschooling demands.

Which “chips” and “cake” do your kids lack to the point they are desperate? What about you?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

April 18th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

I have a hard time reading books about abuse. I actually stop reading any story that hints it is going in that direction. However, Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley is not only an honest look at experiencing and surviving sexual abuse, but it is also beautifully told and ends with hope.

Even better, Fighting Words empowers victims to stand up and gives them words to tell would-be abusers that their behavior is unacceptable.

Like Guitar Notes by Mary Amato (see here), this is not a novel to hand your children. It is best previewed because of the richness of the story and what it can teach parents—not because of a problem. Your tweens especially may not be ready for every page, but they are ready for the “Fighting Words” you can give them after you read Della and Suki’s story.

As our children re-enter the world after months of isolation due to the pandemic, we must again be vigilant to protect them.

Have any novels helped you start important, difficult conversations?

Basics, Homeschooling, Parenting

Rest Is Not Optional: Guest Blog

April 11th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way, I learned not to ignore taking a break when the children—and I especially—needed to rest.

Below is an excerpt from Beth Sterne’s website Put Off Procrastination. Put on Peace. Here

Some years ago our son entered the front door and saw me sitting on the sofa reading a book. He stopped immediately and said, “I want to see more of that around here!”

He knew the path of my feet should take me to rest along the way. And he knew I most often ignored that truth.

Since “rest” is “to cease work in order to relax or refresh oneself,” we see rest as self- serving. Let’s realize it means being a good steward of the heart, mind, and body God has given us to use on earth.

What are two “rest busters” that steal our refreshment?

Viewing activities as requirements instead of opportunities. We don’t have to participate in every educational, church, business, or social function.

Not setting boundaries. Sometimes, by taking on every project or fetching whatever is wanted, we’ve “taught” colleagues and family we don’t need rest.

If appropriate, we can say, “No, not now. These are Mom’s Minutes to be quiet.”

Parenting, Photos

Photos Add Perspective Part 2

April 7th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

In Photos Add Perspective Part 1 (See Here), I related the story of an adult who felt she had never received attention after her younger sister was born. Her facts were discredited by multiple family photographs.

However, her feelings were also supported by the family photographs. The most poignant is the older sister sitting beside the infant sibling, who is held by their father. While he gazes into the eyes of his baby daughter, the older sister stares blankly into the camera. There is no smile. The joy my boys expressed when holding or snuggling with the newest baby is absent.

Now that I have heard her perspective, her expression—especially her eyes—take on new meaning.

A yearbook editor once told me that people first consider how they look in a group photograph before looking at anyone else. Afterwards, I noticed that I also scrutinized my face and outfit first. Along the way, I learned to expand my vision and look more carefully at others.

Do you have photographs that need a second or third look?

Memories, Parenting, Photos

Photos Add Perspective Part 1

April 4th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

We can be crippled by the stories we tell ourselves. Many of these stories are driven by deep emotions and fragile memories. How can we gain a better perspective? Our photographs can help.

I was recently told, “I never received attention after my younger sister was born.” This dear person proceeded to cite evidence based on a photo I had seen. I remembered the image but not specific details.

I flipped through an old album and found several pictures of two preschoolers sitting on the steps of their back porch. I scrutinized the image for the details cited as proof. They did not exist. The photo unequivocally showed the opposite.

I turned the album’s page and viewed picnic photos. The older sister was embraced by her attentive father while her younger sister played close by.

The enemy of our soul wants us to believe lies: that we are unloved, unwanted, and unimportant. Our children are especially vulnerable. Photos give us ammunition to strike back and protect truth.

Do you have stories that need another perspective?