Author: Mollie T. Cox

Decisions

The Word “No”

April 22nd, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Multiple times, I have been told, “The word ‘No’ is a complete sentence.”

If so, why can’t I stop after I say “No?” Why do I talk myself into a “Yes” or follow my “No” with enough loopholes to allow others to turn my “No” into a “Yes?”

A walking buddy once said, “It’s in the 20s.” I offered to walk when the temperature rose. Another time Mary said, “I can’t walk the two-mile loop today.” I suggested our one-mile route. Weeks later, she said, “You never let me be lazy and accept my ‘No’ to walking.” As a literalist, I didn’t realize she was saying “No” to walking.

What am I learning? If I can’t stop at “No,” I should add, “No, that time is scheduled.” Or “No, I am not available.” That is true even if I plan to read or take a nap. A relative said his go-to is “That doesn’t work for me.”

Why is such a little word so hard to say? Guilt? “No” is not a bad word. Our “No” may give another person the opportunity to say “Yes.”

Are you able to say “No” by just using a “N” and an “O?”

Basics, Friendship

Being Yourself

April 15th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Be Yourself because everyone else is taken. Oscar Wilde

One of my favorite women traveled over 600 miles to my house—in her pajamas. I know because when she arrived exhausted, and I offered her a nap before dinner, she said, “I shouldn’t have changed out of my pajamas to go inside McDonald’s at the last exit. My daughter insisted.”

A friend, who had recently moved, asked if she could crash at my home overnight. Her son had a morning orthodontic appointment. “We won’t be any trouble,” she said. “Fix us peanut butter and jelly.” I did. She couldn’t believe that I believed her. Why not? She’s authentic.

These dear women—both named Sandi—are themselves, which frees me to be myself, which hopefully makes it even easier for them to be themselves. It is a cycle that ministers.

Who is the Sandi in your life?

Basics

World Art Day

April 11th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Why do you try to understand art? Do you try to understand the song of a bird?

Pablo Picasso

Along the way, I learned that I am an amazing art teacher—by my standards.

Multiple students and parents of students have told me for almost three decades how much their children enjoy art and look at the world in a different way because of my classes. And that is my standard.

Perhaps, my students will remember some artists or art terminology or acquire a favorite or think about creating art. I hope they do. But the goal is for my students to enjoy art—and for that enjoyment to be as accessible as their favorite books and games.

So, let’s cerebrate World Art Day on April 15th this year by enjoying some art, even if it is only a clever graphic design on your cereal box.

For fun, find and read If Picasso Painted a Snowman by Amy Newbold.

Family, Friendship, Memories

Processing Pain

April 8th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Take in moments and don’t move on. Take it in so you can be wiser from your moments.

Denna Kastor 2004 Olympics Bronze Medalist

I am quoting Kastor’s words for the third time in two years because her words resonate with me. I regularly need to take in my moments and am more joyful when I do.

However, how do I process painful moments? I stuff. Down deep. Until a situation or a photograph or a spoken word evokes the pain. Or it pops to the surface for no apparent reason. (Like the night I wrote this blog.) Sometimes I have forgotten the pain for a long time.

I am learning to sit a few moments in both past and present pain and experience the emotions of loss or grief or disappointment or disregard or betrayal. To probe the extent of what happened and how it affected me. My forgiveness is superficial when I deny the cost.

To paraphrase Kastor:

Take in Pain and don’t move on. Take Pain in so you can be wiser from your Pain.

Surely he has born our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. Isaiah 53:4

Homeschooling

Enough Is Enough

April 1st, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

When I homeschooled, the boys and I saw quarterly plays at a nearby university. We liked The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe so much we bought tickets two years in a row. My husband joined us the second time.

During the 40-minute drive to the auditorium, we listened to a book on tape. On the way home, we discussed the one-hour play. Math worksheets were waiting at my boys’ desks—for after they wrote about the play.

Once, I invited another homeschool family to Ramona, which was based on Beverly Cleary’s series. My friend had taught at a local school before homeschooling. During the drive, I told her my lesson plans.

“Mollie, the field trip fills the day,” she admonished. “Getting there and getting home with a short debrief is all that can be expected. Enough is enough.”

It was freeing to think like a professional, and not a mom who worried about not doing enough—especially as Spring gave us more opportunities for outings.

Is enough being enough for you?