Author: Mollie T. Cox

Book Recommendations, Christmas

An Advent Calendar of Books

November 23rd, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

What do I wish I had known and experienced when my sons lived at home?  An Advent Calendar of Books.

This Advent Calendar contains a wrapped stash of books to be unwrapped one by one during Advent. New books don’t have to be purchased yearly. Opening Christmas favorites can be satisfying.

Ideas abounded on the internet, but my favorites were beginning with a book per week of Advent and using library Christmas books until you have decided on the books you want—and can afford—in your permanent collection.

After years of collecting, I might have enough for each day of Advent.

My recent additions to my overflowing shelf of Christmas books are

Silent Night by Lara Hawthorne

Voices of Christmas by Nikki Grimes

The Christmas Mitzvah by Jeff Gottesfeld

and Santa Who? by Gail Gibbons.

I’m not sure I could have managed the wrapping and unwrapping of twenty-four books when my sons were young, but my book-per-week selection would have been well-loved favorites

Tomie dePaola’s Christmas Carols by Tomie dePoala

The Lion in the Box by Marguerite de Angeli.

B Is for Bethlehem: A Christmas Alphabet by Isabel Wilner

and Christmas Eve by Edith Thacher Hurd

Happy Reading.

Decisions

I Can’t Fix Messes Either

November 16th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way—as in after expensive, time-consuming attempts over twenty-five years—I learned that I can’t dig people out of their messes. My family’s considerable energy and money only provided temporary relief, and the same can be said of others’ attempts to eradicate the same messes.

Why was I so naive? Why didn’t I understand the obvious? Messes don’t just appear. Why did I think they did?

Messes are due to deliberate, day-by-day decisions. If I can’t change someone’s daily decisions, then the mess will reappear, and I can’t fix people—although once upon a time I and others thought I could. (See here)

Do I regret my family’s actions?

No to two. I had to give those relatives opportunities for a new start.

Don’t ask what it will cost you if you help. Ask what it will cost them if you don’t help.

Rev. Josh Diack,

Yes, to one. Our family is still hurting from the experience. I haven’t decided about the others. However, I’m wiser.

Are you being drawn into someone’s mess this holiday season?

Decisions, Parenting, Relationships

I’m Sorry to Disappoint You, But

November 9th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way, I learned that I can’t

make my child drop a grudge,

make my child stop being shy,

make my child be on time,

make a friend keep promises,

make a frenemy tell the truth,

make a relative show up at a birthday party—OK. I did have success there,

make my children initiate particular relationships,

make leaders listen,

make acquaintances obey the rules.

And I’m sorrier than you are. I’ve wasted too much time trying.

No matter how much I’m nagged or shamed, only my Heavenly Father can mend his children.

Are you hoping or expected to “fix” someone this upcoming holiday season?

Friendship

Friendship Is Not Free

November 2nd, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Of course, friendship is not free. Making friends and loving them takes time and effort. Along the way, I’ve learned that friendship has an unforeseen cost.

There is a saying I’ve heard many times, and I’ve lived its truth.

A mother is only as happy as her least happy child.

This past month, I’ve lived the following.

A friend is only as happy as her least happy friend.

October has been a hard month for me because three dear friends have had a hard October. Their lives have been changed, which means, in a lesser way, my life has been changed. We walk our paths together.

I’ve had friends experience hard times in the past, so why am I so bonded to my current friends’ sufferings? Am I wiser and value friendship more? Am I more willing to acknowledge and allow pain in my life instead of shoving it aside? Or something else?

Whichever it is, some days—although I may be content and optimistic and trusting God—I’m only as happy as my least happy friend.

I have no notion of loving people by halves. It’s not in my nature. Jane Austen

God's Faithfulness

One Day, It Will All Make Sense

October 26th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

I know the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work he will give us to do.

Corrie ten Boom

Some unanticipated events quickly made sense: The two-year temporary job that led to two decades of permanent friendships; the fifteen-minute conversation in the produce section that led to my favorite teaching opportunity; the brochure picked up at a conference—and found two years later—that increased the quality of our sons’ formative years; the unexpected tax bill that led to a salary raise, which was the most surprising.

Joyful experiences!

However, I am still waiting for the explanations of the other type. How will estranged relatives, failing eyesight, broken promises, and suffering friends become “the mysterious and perfect preparation” for the work God has given me? My husband says that lowly hearts understand other lowly hearts.

Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.

John 13:7 (ESV)

Are you holding onto the promise that, one day, it will all make sense?