Sometimes, It’s Best Not To Ask

‘How are you, Mary?’ said Sanborn’s mother …

‘Fine.’ said Henry’s mother …

They pulled away …

‘Fine?’ said Henry.

‘Well, what should I tell her? his mother said quickly ‘That I sat in my son’s hospital room for six hours, and he didn’t move once?’

Trouble by Gary D. Schmidt

Trouble by Gary D. Schmist is one of my favorite books. I enjoy the deep characters and well-constructed plot, but I can say that about many books. As I said in an earlier post, (see here), I learned the perspective of people overwhelmed with circumstances and grief. The reply “Fine” means “Please don’t ask questions I can’t or don’t want to answer.”

Asking questions seems the caring, sensitive thing for friends and family to do. However, as a relative currently walks through hard times, she sees these questions as intrusive and depressing. I’ve heard others in difficult circumstances say the same. They prefer that people wait for information to be volunteered.

What words can be said while we wait?

I love you.

You are in my thoughts.

I’m praying for you.

Is there anything specific I can do to help right now?

May God grant us much wisdom.