Parenting | Page 13 of 23

Processing Moments

December 12th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

My husband and I attended a writers panel at the 2019 Boston Marathon Expo. Our goal was to hear our favorite runner, Meb Keflezighi, speak. However, another Olympian spoke the words I remembered most.

Marathoner Deena Kastor was asked, “What did you learn from writing your memoir, Let Your Mind Run?”

We move on and don’t process. Take in moments and don’t move on. Take it in so you can be wiser from your moments.
Deena Kastor 2004 Olympics Bronze Medalist

I immediately thought about my tendency to move on and how much—both good and bad—I had glossed over. Or ignored.

Along the way, I told myself I didn’t have time to slow down and process what was happening to me and around me. However, as soon as Denna said Take it in so you can be wiser from your moments, I knew she was speaking truth, and I wished I had been following her advice for years.

Any advice on processing this year’s Christmas moments?

Christmas, Parenting

St. Nicholas Day

November 28th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

While a friend told me about her daughter’s stolen bike, her five-year-old interrupted. “We don’t need to pray about my bike, Mommy. I’ll ask Santa Claus for one.”

While I was telling my second-grade Sunday School class about the birth of Jesus, little Charlie raised his hand. “Can we talk about what Santa Claus brought us instead?”

Those memories plus my own childhood anxiety of being “good enough” for Santa, kept me from playing the Santa Claus game with my children. I wanted truth. We read The Night Before Christmas, but we treated it as the fiction it was. Edna Barth’s Holly, Reindeer and Colored Lights helped explain cultural Christmas compared to the celebration of Christ’s birth.

However, I didn’t want Santa to seem like forbidden fruit. A friend in college had lamented the lack of Santa in her life. St. Nicholas Day helped bridge that gap.

One year, I surprised the children with filled stockings on December 6^th, which was St. Nicholas Day. We discussed the legends of St. Nicholas. That tradition continued a few years. Later, filled stockings made their way to my sons’ colleges as their exam-time care packages.

How have you handled cultural myths?

Memories, Parenting

Illustrations Matter

November 7th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

In Picture Book Revelations, I told how I vividly remembered the illustrations in Daddy’s Birthday Cakes. (See here.) I didn’t say it was approximately sixty years after I last saw that book. Therefore, why was I surprised when a son recalled illustrations from picture books I read to him thirty years ago?

As we reminisced during last night’s phone conversation, my youngest described three favorite picture books by their illustrations, not their plots: the book with the boy and his flashlight, the book with the boy wearing a blue sweater, the book with elaborately dressed animals riding in a carriage.

I pulled the described books from my bookshelves while my son searched for the covers online to confirm my guesses.

A flashlight is necessary for a successful sleep out.

Titch wore the same blue sweater during all his adventures

Piggins’ acquaintances rode in carriages. He solved mysteries.

Why did I recall all three titles within seconds?

What we see with our eyes matters. Regardless of the style, illustrations have a lasting impact—even more than I realized until an unexpected conversation with one son.

What do you visualize from your childhood?

Parenting

Picture Book Revelations

October 31st, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

My sons cherished certain picture books. Ox-Cart Man, Little Engine That Could, and Llama, Llama Are You my Mama? are seared into my memory.

What I wish I had known—and only recently realized—was that favorite preschool books were a key to understanding both my children’s personalities and their deep longings.

The boys were too young to communicate or perhaps be fully conscious of these desires, but looking back, I can list reasons why particular books appealed to each son.

The only picture book I remember from my childhood is Daddy’s Birthday Cakes by Miss Frances. I remember waiting patiently for my mother to finish washing dishes so she could read—and the disappointment when she didn’t have time.

A friend found that treasure in excellent condition on eBay. I bought it for a ridiculous amount, and yet, a small amount for the pleasure it gave me. The story was as I remembered. Illustrations—even details such as the mother’s scarf—were deeply familiar.

Now, I can list how each moment in the plot and certain illustrations met a longing. It is a new window into my childhood.

Are any longings revealed in your children’s favorite books? Your favorites?

Family, Friendship, Parenting

The Relationship Test

October 17th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

How do you know you care about certain people? You want to be in their presence.

Drop by my house. Come any time.

How do you know they care about you? They want to be in your presence.

We’ll make space for you. Everyone scoot over.

My most memorable example came from a two-year-old when I was hiking the Tijuca Forest with a cousin and his four young children. Caves were our first destination.

Before we entered, my cousin mentioned that his youngest was afraid of the dark.

“I’ll hold Daniel while you explore with the others,” I offered.

Since his birth, I’d spent weeks being the child’s caretaker while his father worked, and his mother received medical care.

“He won’t leave me.”

He was right. The two-year-old refused relief from his fear and clung to my cousin’s neck. He would rather be with his father in the dark he hated than without his father in the light he loved.

Throughout the day, it was obvious Daniel loved his father so much that nothing was worth leaving his presence.

To whom do you cling?

…in your presence there is fullness of joy…
Psalm 16:11