Parenting | Page 13 of 23

Make a Grievance Jar

February 6th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

Like a Worry Jar (See Here), a Grievance Jar is simply a jar containing grievances that have been written on a piece of paper. Some families have a set time for dealing with the jar’s contents—the end of each day or a set day of the week.

I used to think that listening to children’s complaints undermined parental authority. It was also unbiblical.

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among who you shine as lights in the world.
Philippians 2:14-15 (ESV)

However, there is a significant difference between grumbling in anger and frustration and thoughtfully expressing a real or imagined wrong.

Along the way, I learned that understanding what my children considered to be unjust was a key to praying for them and helping their hearts. How could I solve a problem if it remained hidden?

Parents easily lose their children’s hearts in the older years. I wish I had developed a systematic way to address my sons’ grievances.

What about your own complaints?

Basics, Family, Parenting

War, Not Battles Pt.2

February 2nd, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.
Ian MacLaren, Zion’s Herald, January 26, 1898

Along the way, I learned that most people are fighting wars, not battles. What is the difference?

War involves a series of battles. War takes longer. War requires more resources. War has more setbacks. War causes more damage.

No matter the victor, war requires more repairs. War needs a longer recovery. War demands more time to process the experience.

I wish I had known I was fighting wars rather than battles. I would have been better prepared for both the fight and the aftermath.

Are you fighting or recovering?

Book Recommendations, Homeschooling, Memories, Parenting

Memory: Prime 1 and Prime 2

January 9th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

When I play a concentration game, why I do I remember the first card I turn over? Always.

Why does the first day of vacation stand out from the rest? Why do I remember my first child’s milestones better than his siblings? Or my first vegetable garden when I was newly married?

I learned the answer after my boys were in college. I discovered Summarization in Any Subject: 50 Techniques to Improve Student Learning by Rick Wormeli.

Research proves that we remember best what we experience first, and we remember second best what we experience last—also known as Prime 1 and Prime 2. That is why pastors, teachers, and motivational speakers begin and end with memorable scripture passages or examples.

Along the way, I should have started and ended lessons with my major points. Even more, now I should begin and end my day with what is most important.

What is your Prime 1 and Prime 2?

Memories, Parenting, Photos

Picture of the Day

January 2nd, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

Are you considering new habits for the New Year? Along the way, I learned that regular habits sometimes—well, usually—disintegrated into irregular ones. I also learned that irregular habits can still be valuable.

When my middle son went to college, his younger brother urged him to take a Picture of the Day, POTD, and email it to the family. I thought POTD was our family’s acronym, not commonly used for Poll of the Day and, more accurately, Photo of the Day.

My middle son daily emailed a POTD the first two weeks, and then sporadically the rest of his college years.

My youngest took POTD seriously his freshman year. POTDs dropped off during his sophomore year. Junior year was more accurately Picture of the Week—although still labeled POTD. Senior year became Picture of the Month.

Fifteen years later, my husband and I still have the thrill of receiving emails and texts with POTD in the subject line. The frequency and regularity have decreased, but the habit continues, keeping our family connected—and sometimes amused—over hundreds of miles.

Has an irregular habit benefited you? Perhaps, kept you connected?

Basics, Christmas, Parenting

Processing Moments

December 12th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

My husband and I attended a writers panel at the 2019 Boston Marathon Expo. Our goal was to hear our favorite runner, Meb Keflezighi, speak. However, another Olympian spoke the words I remembered most.

Marathoner Deena Kastor was asked, “What did you learn from writing your memoir, Let Your Mind Run?”

We move on and don’t process. Take in moments and don’t move on. Take it in so you can be wiser from your moments.
Deena Kastor 2004 Olympics Bronze Medalist

I immediately thought about my tendency to move on and how much—both good and bad—I had glossed over. Or ignored.

Along the way, I told myself I didn’t have time to slow down and process what was happening to me and around me. However, as soon as Denna said Take it in so you can be wiser from your moments, I knew she was speaking truth, and I wished I had been following her advice for years.

Any advice on processing this year’s Christmas moments?