For weeks, I listened to a tough, tender, former Army Ranger instruct his children. “Do not say, ‘I can’t.’ Instead, say, ‘This is hard. I need help.'” He drilled his children. “Yes, you can. It may be hard. You may need help, but you can do it.”
One Saturday, I was hiking a rain forest in Brazil with this cousin and his four children. We had strayed from the main trail in order to explore, and the miles were adding up. The almost-four-year-old turned to me and said, “This is hard. I need help.”
“What kind of help?” I asked.
“Holding help.”
I picked him up and carried him for a while.
I took hold of my cousin’s response to “I can’t.” It acknowledges the hard we face. It avoids the argument about whether something can or cannot be done. It supplies a solution.
Do you need holding help for your hard? Does someone need your holding help for their hard?
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