Friendship, Priorities, Relationships

Goodbye, Dear Friend

January 19th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

When people die, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready to give them up.

C.A. Belmond
The photo is blurry. The memory is clear.

Why do I cherish a dark, blurry photo?

Because the photo was taken in the middle of a heartfelt conversation with my dear friend. I still hold a slight grudge against the person who interrupted us that morning and took the photo.

Kathleen and I corresponded for years before we met in person—two days prior to this photo. She and her husband traveled over 300 miles to be at a major event in my life. Why? Because that’s what friends do, even if you only know each other through an online book group.

I communicated with Kathleen regularly. However, her name had been on my “to write” list since her husband passed in October. I wanted to write the perfect remembrance and the perfect Christmas thank you note. I trust Kathleen knew my heart because she won’t receive those words. I woke on Saturday to the news of her unexpected passing.

So, let’s all agree to say the imperfect words while we still have time.

Grief is the price we pay for love. Queen Elizabeth II

God's Faithfulness

Living Outside My Comfort Zone

January 11th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.

Tony Robbins, Author

I don’t know about growth, but along the way I learned that comfort awaits me at the end of my comfort zone.

It seems like I spend most of my time outside my comfort zone, but I’m not forced. I get myself into it.

Within hours of learning that my grandfather was lingering in a hospital, I flew to his side and sat with him minutes before his death. I despised both flying and leaving my small children, but I was blessed.

I volunteered to fly to Brazil and care for four small children for two weeks while my cousin sought medical treatment in Texas, and her husband worked during the day. I didn’t speak Portuguese or know anything about Ipanema. Two years later, my husband returned with me because I wanted him to experience the culture and natural beauty I found.

I didn’t want to testify in a court of law, but I volunteered because I loved the victim, and I knew I was needed. I received peace in the process and the joy of participating in victory.

And comfort through them all.

How’s your comfort zone these days?

Memories, Parenting

Our Children’s Memories

January 4th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

Dr. Seuss

My husband and I have spent a lot of time with our children. We’ve said a lot of things to them as well. Which activities and words were important? According to Dr. Seuss, the moments my children remembered.

Unfortunately, those moments are not always the ones I remember. These days, I’m surprised when my memories coincide with my sons’ memories.

“I don’t remember that” was my mother’s worse response to my vivid recollections. I vowed that I would remember what my children shared until I didn’t.

I’ve read that if you ask children from the same household to describe their childhood, you will get vastly differing accounts. My sister’s memories of our childhood compared to mine are consistent with this statement. Now I understand it wasn’t the overall experience that differed but rather our key moments.

What do I wish I had known? To slow down and think instead of rushing responses and experiences. The totality of a vacation is not as important as a remembered moment during a day.

May we all make the most of our 2025 moments.

Christmas, Relationships

The Gift Of Listening

December 28th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer.

Ed Cunningham

If Cunningham is right, then I had a treasure trove of friends in 2024.

Tina, who sat with me on the church sofa and listened while I talked.

Katie, who drove to my house for tea and prayer and listened while I talked.

Barb, who drove me to class and listened while I talked.

Kathy, who sat on my patio and listened while I talked.

Sara, who sat with me in her car and listened while I talked.

Beth, who phoned and listened while I talked—as she has for over sixteen years.

My mother-in-law who was always glad to hear from me and listened while I talked.

Aunt Shirley, the only aunt who listened while I talked rather than talking while I listened.

My husband, who sat up past his bedtime to listen while I talked.

And more who crossed my path less frequently.

Why is listening such a gift?

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. … When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.

Karl Menniger

May we all listen and be listened to in 2025.

Christmas, Memories

Returning to Former Places

December 21st, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

At a recent banquet, one speaker urged his listeners to revisit places of former years—not literally, but rather as a mind exercise. His words immediately brought forth a memory of former years as well as a memory of a visit to that place decades later.

In the 1990s, during a rare trip to my grandparents’ home, I stood in their front yard one late night and was ambushed by the pungency of the honeysuckle growing in their far backyard. That smell immediately evoked a 1960s image of my mother, aunt, and grandparents drinking coffee and talking around a concrete table while my siblings and I chased fireflies and listened to their comforting, adult conversations.

Almost another thirty years have passed, and that memory of a memory is still with me. I’m not sure why it lingers or why it means so much—maybe even more than the original memory of evenings I loved before air-conditioning kept us indoors.

However, I’m glad for both the urging and permission to return to former places—whether literally or in my mind—especially during the holidays when I might be ambushed again.

May only good memories sneak up on you this Christmas.