Family, Memories

Memories Impart Value

Along the way, I learned that memories impart value.

My uncle bequeathed me the contents of his home. As I packed china and depression glass and debated shipping furniture, my brother held out an item.

Is this the M&Ms dish?

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. I remembered its place by my grandfather’s recliner and the forbiddeness of snitching a chocolate morsel.

My brother remembered the too-loud clank of the glass lid when he was naughtier or perhaps braver than me.

I carefully packed the M&Ms dish, and later cried when another tried to claim it.

Look what I found.

This time my brother held out Rook cards, the same vintage as my parents’ cards.

The colored numbers brought back images of my parents playing Rook with their friends. Once, I got in trouble for peeking over shoulders and announcing a player’s hand. I felt like an adult when I was old enough to play Rook with my siblings.

My brother happily packed the Rook cards.

What made two objects—costing less than $20 each—priceless? The memories.

I wonder which objects my boys will eventually claim. (See Their Memories, Not Yours Here.)

Do any objects invoke your childhood memories??

Basics, Family, Parenting

War, Not Battles Pt.2

Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.

Ian MacLaren, Zion’s Herald, January 26, 1898

Along the way, I learned that most people are fighting wars, not battles. What is the difference?

War involves a series of battles. War takes longer. War requires more resources. War has more setbacks. War causes more damage.

No matter the victor, war requires more repairs. War needs a longer recovery. War demands more time to process the experience.

I wish I had known I was fighting wars rather than battles. I would have been better prepared for both the fight and the aftermath.

Are you fighting or recovering?

Basics, Family, Friendship

War, Not Battles

Be kind. Everyone is fighting a battle.

I encounter these seven words regularly. They have been attributed to Socrates, Plato, and Plutarch. Once I heard them attributed to current celebrity Maria Shriver. Some reciters imply the words are their own.

Research reveals the originator as Rev. John Watson, a Scottish minister and author, who used the pseudonym Ian MacLaren.

Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle

Ian MacLaren, Zion’s Herald, January 26, 1898

This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world… we are moved to deal kindly with him…

Rev. John Watson, The Homely Virtues 1903

The sentiment is compelling. No wonder various forms of it have been repeated for over a century.

Along the way—as family and friends and even casual acquaintances shared their stories—I learned that most people are not fighting battles. They are fighting wars.

Have you recognized the fight for what it is?

Christmas, Family, Friendship

Seeing and Hearing

Over thirty years ago, my husband and I memorized Isaiah 11:1-9. (See here). I love many things about this Advent passage, which prophesied the first coming of Christ.

Shoots coming up from seemingly dead stumps intrigue me. (Verse 1) I want someone who has the Spirit of wisdom and understanding and counsel and might and knowledge. (Verse 2) Killing the wicked with the breath of his lips is helpful. (Verse 4). However, over the years, I thought most about verse three.

And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear,

Isaiah 11:3

I wish I had known that my eyes and ears didn’t always reveal truth. Trusted people deceived. Situations were complex. Pain was buried deep.

Along the way, I witnessed “perfect” marriages crumble, “heroes” struggle with addictions, and “happy” children rebel. Acquaintances who seemed oblivious proved to be extremely perceptive.

Deciding by what my eyes saw and my ears heard did not lead to accurate judgements.

The Good News was, and still is, the arrival of a Savor who accomplishes what we cannot.

Deciding accurately?

Christmas, Family, Friendship

Pondering

The shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them.

Luke 2:15-18 (ESV)

But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.

Luke 2:19 (ESV)

Mary pondered the birth of Jesus and the shepherds’ visit. No photographing, no blogging, no texting, no over-analyzing, no wishing for a repeat.

My husband frequently quotes Luke 2:19 when I tend to overdo all of the above, especially wishing for a repeat of a special moment. Pondering sums up so much. Slowing down and savoring. Taking in deeply instead of documenting. Letting my heart do the reviewing.

What I wish I had known and am still learning along the way is to ponder. I would have experienced more joy and understood more heartache.

Pondering this season?