Decisions, Family, Friendship

I Only Need One

I’d been wronged. Or misunderstood. I was frustrated with someone and wanted advice with an opportunity to complain as a side dish. In response, I sought solace among people I trusted.

However, when everything was resolved, we couldn’t move on in a satisfactory way. Why? I had given people information that they shouldn’t have. Therefore, some confidants were not willing or ready to forgive the offender.  

At times, we need Someone to understand our plight. Along the way, I learned that Someone was not the members of my Bible study. Someone was not the members of my book club. Someone was not my friends. Someone was not my neighbors. Someone was not my extended family. Someone was One.

During one hurtful situation, my friend Jacqueline summarized this principle with a quote her mother taught her: Least said, soonest mended.

I learned to pick carefully—not a person who would wallow with me—but someone with perspective and wisdom about the situation I faced.

Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you. 

Reverend Tim Keller, Pastor and Author

Have you been blessed with a trusted One?

Book Recommendations, Family

Reading to Readers Part 2

The evidence has become so overwhelming that social scientists consider reading aloud one of the most important indicators of a child’s prospects in life.

The Enchanted Hour*

Our family received knowledge, pleasure, common memories, and enhanced relationships from our years of reading aloud and listening to audio books. (See here.) Along the way I learned that we also received something else—changed brains.*

What were those changes? New neural connections in the brain, reinforced neural connections, and optimal patterns of brain development.

What were the results of those changes? The increase of social skills, attention span, language, and imagination to name a few.

The Enchanted Hour ‘s compilation of research—some of which I had read elsewhere or experienced with my sons—has compelled me to continue advocating reading aloud for all ages.

Reading aloud really is a kind of magic elixir.

The Enchanted Hour*

What are you advocating?

*The Enchanted Hour: The Miraculous Power of Reading Aloud in the Age of Distraction by Meghan Cox Gurdon.

Family, Parenting

Our Family Newsletter

When my children were ages five to eight, we started a family newsletter. It was snail mailed to their grandparents, two aunts, and two great-aunts. Our boys drew cartoons, provided book reports, reported family current events, and gave updates on their guinea pigs. One column had prayer requests. The boys chose all topics.

My kindergartner dictated his articles. Occasionally, the older two dictated while my husband typed their contributions. For the first year, we “published” every two weeks. Eventually, we dwindled to once a month.

Our newsletter lasted only three to four years, but along the way, it became a precious history of our family. Copies reside in our safe.

At the time, I didn’t realize the educational impact of the newsletter. Later, I realized that dictation gave the boys confidence to write. Recording our children’s “talk” and showing them the results, took some fear out of writing. Writing begins—although it doesn’t end—by putting “talk” on paper.

After a friend and her husband reviewed long ago copies of their family newsletter, she said, “They were the best and most encouraging items we had read in years.”  

Any family activities worth recording for posterity?

Family, Friendship, Parenting

Admonish. Encourage. Help.

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

1 Thessalonians 5:14

When I recently re-read this verse, I remembered a sermon Dr. Bill Clark from the Lay Counselor Institute had preached over a decade ago. Admonish. Encourage. Help. He gave an example where he had to employ all three with a client, but usually only one was needed.

I was struck how my “go to” response of helping was not always the best choice. Occasionally, my response was random.

I had admonished the fainthearted when I should have encouraged. I had helped the idle when I should have admonished. I had encouraged the weak when I should have helped.

The only “go to” response in this scripture is “Be patient with them all,” rarely my first choice.

Do you naturally admonish, encourage, or help?

Family, God's Faithfulness, Sharing Stories

Share Your Stories

I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness from the great congregation.  

Psalm 40:10

At my age, I am more on the giving end than the receiving end of stories. Most stories I want are unattainable. I either waited too late to ask or was too young when it was time to ask. Therefore, I am becoming more deliberate about passing down family history and information, especially if it demonstrates God’s loving care.

Along the way, I learned that the more I tell or record my stories, the more I am the one who benefits. Like Deena Kastor, I reflect and process both the fleeting moments and the long hours that rushed by me. (See here for more.)

Telling a remembered story usually leads to a forgotten story and sometimes a second forgotten story, which all remind me of a special time or an important truth. Both the remembered and the forgotten bring necessary comfort or conviction.

The more I share, the more I am blessed.

Do you have a favorite story that blesses both you and others?