Decisions | Page 5 of 10

Choosing A Pace

March 4th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Snow is lingering—if not on the ground, then in my mind. I dread its loss. My husband sees its exit as the start of the race season.

Training matters, but winning races involves strategy as much as physical fitness. My husband was not yet a runner when he learned this truth from a collegiate, cross-country roommate.

Runners have pulled ahead too soon and been unable to maintain their speed. Or withdrawn. Runners have not followed the leaders’ surges and later been unable to close the gap. Runners have won by staying behind before their own late surge.

Pull ahead? Stay with the group? Hang back and wait?

Successful runners know when to leave the pack and when to let the pack leave them.

Along the way, I learned that the same strategies applied to parenting and homeschooling decisions.

Should I stick with standard curricula and goals? Was I falling behind and dragging my children with me if I resisted the latest parenting or homeschooling trends—especially when acquaintances were on an accelerated track? Would matching their pace lead to victory? Or defeat? Our optimal strategy was occasionally unclear.

How do you choose your pace?

Decisions, Family, Friendship

Repaying Evil with Blessing

February 12th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called that you may obtain a blessing.
1 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

My husband and I memorized 1 Peter 3:9-12 with our Sunday School students in 1988. Later, we taught our own children those verses. I knew they were true because they are God’s Word. However, one afternoon, I especially felt their power.

As I stood on a balcony and gazed at a beautiful view during a vacation opportunity, I Peter 3:9 came to mind.

When I do as I ought—not repaying evil for evil but rather blessing—God does not owe me anything, but in his mercy, he gives me blessings. That afternoon, I remembered God’s blessings for pursuing peace.

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.
I Peter 3:12

Remembering lately?

Decisions, Friendship

The Victim Is Not Always The Victim

February 5th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear …
Isaiah 11:13b (ESV)

I think one of the saddest things I wish I had known was that the victim is not always the victim. Much is hidden that cannot be discerned—even by people who are daily witnesses.

The apparent victim may tell the best story. Or have the most pathetic or sweetest voice. Or an appearance that invokes trust. Or experienced a tragedy. Or a serious illness. Or always makes sure his or her version is told first.

I have been fooled by all the above.

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.
Proverbs 18:17

Many times, I did not have an examiner. The version I or a friend heard occurred miles away or years ago. The truth was not discovered until I or another had sympathized with or given aid to an instigator or bully or liar.

I learned along the way to be wary of the “wounded.” They may have been the one wielding a sharp sword.

Have you been misled?

Decisions

Speak Up

January 29th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

One evening, I looked around my crowded living room where families had gathered and wondered, “Am I crazy, or are they crazy?”

My husband and I continued to wonder if others saw the same dysfunctionality that we did. When the group gathered for a meal, we wondered if our host and hostess were naïve.

Finally, my husband met with a leader. The man was working quietly to rectify the situation. The young couple who had hosted our meal left the organization. Later, we learned that they had found the situation intolerable.

I learned a lesson I have never forgotten. Even in silence, I am not alone in my perceptions. Some may not have the disposition or courage to speak up or have done so and been shut down.

A decade later, a friend expressed frustration about a situation and asked, “Why won’t others say something. I’m told I’m the only one concerned.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “We’ve complained.”

Another decade passed. Another friend told me about a school situation and asked, “Why won’t other parents complain?”

“Maybe they have and have been told that no one else cares,” I said. “Add your voice and support them.”

Speaking up?

Decisions, Homeschooling

Homeschooling This Year?

January 8th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God. not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9

Homeschooling did many things for our family. My children could learn at their own pace. We weren’t confined to grade levels when choosing curricula. We had flexibility if I didn’t let others claim it. (See here.) We shared experiences. We traveled outside of the summer season.

Most importantly, homeschooling allowed my husband and me to share and reinforce our Christian beliefs. However, one thing homeschooling could not do is impart saving faith to my sons.

The fact that only Jesus saves should be obvious—like the fact that homeschooling works best if you want to homeschool (See here). However, my friends and I occasionally crossed into dangerous territory by believing that our “works”—such as homeschooling—mattered as much or perhaps even more than Jesus.

As my family and others look back over our homeschool efforts, some of our children chose our faith and some didn’t. Discouraging? Not necessarily. Their stories aren’t finished.

Setting any goals beyond your control this year?