Decisions | Page 4 of 7

Considering Homeschooling? Why?

July 24th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

During school shutdowns due to Covid-19, articles about the disruption to families’ lives abounded. Newscasts reported students falling behind.

Why? Each year, parents happily homeschool millions of children, and those families not only survive but also thrive.*

Although it should be obvious that homeschooling only works if you want to homeschool, along the way I learned that some parents miss that truth.

Before Covid-19, I met homeschoolers who pressured themselves or felt pressured by others to homeschool. One family homeschooled out of fear. Those parents were miserable. The children were barely surviving. Thankfully, the parents eventually chose other options.

Years later, I met families who successfully homeschooled some of their children but not all. Circumstances varied as to why certain children did not want to be homeschooled or why parents did not want to homeschool certain children. All thrived with their tailor-made options.

Just as I married because I wanted to marry—not due to pressure or fear—I needed to homeschool because I wanted to homeschool—which carried me through many challenges.

Considering homeschooling this year? Why?

*U.S. Department of Education estimated 1.69 million students were homeschooled in 2016.

Decisions

What Do I Really Want?

July 3rd, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

Tomorrow I will be 65 years old. Many have asked what I want for this milestone.

Too many years ago, I clipped and saved a cake recipe. Until two days ago, I said that I wanted my family to make that cake for this 65th birthday. After examining the recipe, I decided what I really wanted with their time was help with a Christmas Stamp puzzle.

For one day, I said a locally-purchased blackberry pie would substitute for homemade cake—until I decided pie wasn’t what I really wanted. My husband offered mimosas for us to drink on the patio. (Months ago, I had declared I would spend this milestone sitting on my patio and gazing at my flowers and woods—now with a puzzle added.)

My husband bought mimosa ingredients and a box of nectarines. Better than cake and pie although not necessarily better than the birthday ice cream, which I have already sampled.

I want the Ukrainian War ended and all life respected and the ailments and brokenness that come from 65 years healed, but what do I really want among the little things I can control?

What do you really want?

Decisions

Overwhelmed? Start with One

May 15th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn.
Andrew Mason

As a child, I thought clover was not only a flower, but the best kind. White clover covered our backyard, sprang back after each mowing, and made the best bracelets and necklaces. While purple clover was not best for adornment, its scarcity gave it value. It only grew near our back porch and chain-link fence.

Nostalgic Discovery in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania June 2020

My husband thought otherwise. While my family mowed weeds, his family either pulled or poisoned them—including clover.

Along the way, I agreed that perhaps weeds needed more than mowing. The task was overwhelming so a few years ago, I chose one focus. Dandelions. I pulled dandelions each spring morning until our yard was almost dandelion free in 2020. That year, I joined my husband in pulling wild onions—but never clover.

It is obvious that any goal requires a first step. However, I marveled at the evidence of what I had accomplished in my yard with a small, singular focus for a few months each spring.

Any “weeds” in your “yard”?

PS Organic dandelions are nutritious.

Decisions, Homeschooling, Parenting

Allowing Space to Grow

August 15th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

I dislike gaps in my flower beds. Therefore, I never planted my marigold seedlings the recommended distance apart—eight to ten inches for French marigolds and a full twelve inches for African marigolds. I learned the error of my ways when I passed marigolds beside a city sidewalk. One seedling had grown into a small bush. I checked. One stalk.

Disliking gaps—especially while raising children—my husband and I crowded activities into our lives the same way I jammed marigolds into the small, soil patch at the top of our driveway.

Some academic years, I added too many subjects. I assured my husband I would find a way to make everything fit. I never did.

I wish I had known how much space was realistically needed for my flowers and my family and myself.

I enjoyed a variety of little blooms, but when I desired deep roots and tall flowers, I should have given more space—more than I imagined.

How many inches do you need this academic year?

Decisions, Homeschooling

Considering Quitting? Relationships Rule

August 8th, 2021
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way, I learned that quitting homeschooling was one of the hardest and most emotional decisions families made. Leaving a loved, traditional school in order to homeschool was also hard.

My children’s relationships with God and our family were primary, not educational choices. Our family chose homeschooling because we believed it was our best fit. However, too many times, this choice hindered my husband and me from being the dad and mom our children needed. I watched other families experience the same.

What my sons were taught didn’t matter if they weren’t listening or were too were wounded to listen.

I witnessed marriages struggling because of educational choices. I watched families hesitate to leave extracurricular activities when they needed more space in their lives. And less structure. And more family time, which could never be regained once lost.

In making decisions to quit a course—and perhaps start a new one—I wish I had known how hard it is to repair broken relationships or crushed spirits that resulted from continuing activities beyond an optimal point.

What are your criteria for quitting activities?