Author: Mollie T. Cox

Homeschooling

Natural Learners? Or not?

June 28th, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

Homeschooling resources and educational research repeatedly told me that children—especially young children—are natural learners. Reassuring for the mom teaching her child at home? Not always.

One evening, I joined moms at dinner before their monthly encouragement meeting. Friends, strangers, veterans, and beginners bonded in Homeschool Sisterhood. The newest member listened. During dessert, she joined the conversation.  Her posture, tone of voice and fearful glances showed she was going to divulge something shameful, so shameful that she was going to have to wear the scarlet “HF.” Homeschool Failure.

“My kindergartner resists learning,” she confessed. “He’s not a natural learner.”

We veterans spontaneously laughed—too long and probably too loudly. Not at her. Thankfully, our good-natured mirth conveyed that.

We asked questions, and yes, her child did like to learn—just not reading and math. 

The well-known mantra was confirmed:  Children are natural learners.

Our guilt comes when children don’t love to learn what we expect them to learn at the time we expect them to learn. Some skills and knowledge can be delayed. Some should not. However, believing that natural learners will never resist learning is a myth I discarded along the way.

Have you discarded any misapplied truth?

Homeschooling, Parenting

I Need Holding Help

June 21st, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

For weeks, I listened to a tough, tender, former Army Ranger instruct his children.  “Do not say, ‘I can’t.’ Instead, say, ‘This is hard. I need help.'”  He drilled his children. “Yes, you can. It may be hard. You may need help, but you can do it.”

One Saturday, I was hiking a rain forest in Brazil with this cousin and his four children. We had strayed from the main trail in order to explore, and the miles were adding up. The almost-four-year-old turned to me and said, “This is hard. I need help.”

“What kind of help?” I asked.

“Holding help.”

I picked him up and carried him for a while.

I took hold of my cousin’s response to “I can’t.” It acknowledges the hard we face. It avoids the argument about whether something can or cannot be done. It supplies a solution.

Trails in Guaratiba, Brazil where my cousin’s preschool son required “Holding Help.” (I am in the pink top.)

Do you need holding help for your hard? Does someone need your holding help for their hard?

Parenting

Photos: Overlooked Clues

June 14th, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

My children’s scrapbooks chronicled almost two decades.  What a relief to finish. Not! I didn’t have my own record of those years.

Where was I to start with the leftovers—both mine and many acquired after my grandparents passed and other relatives downsized? Arranging chronologically was not possible with that jumble. I chose thematically.

I sorted photos into envelopes. “A” was for art and aircraft. “B” was for beach and bikes. “Y” was only for yards until I found a yawning newborn. Looking for yawns, I noticed two newborn sons yawned the day they left the hospital. The other yawned the day he was born. Was their new life sleepy or boring?

Thematically sorting photos revealed significant information.  “W” was for workshop. One son was building frequently in his dad’s workshop.  I would have guessed another son. “G” was for games. One son didn’t embrace particular games. “H” was for hugs—enough for multiple pages.  I hadn’t remembered such affection among my preschoolers.

Along the way, I learned to study photos—more precise than memories—for clues.  I wish I had known to think thematically about our photos when my boys were younger.

Any unexpected revelations in your photo collection?

Parenting

Mundane Rules (Reprise)

June 11th, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

What will you do in the mundane days of faithfulness?

Martin Luther

Along the way, I learned that day-to-day life matters more and will be remembered more than elaborate vacations, carefully planned birthday parties, science fairs, team sports, and field trips. See Mundane Rules Here

For my five-year-old cousin, being met at the school bus and waiting for the school bus outweighed special adventures.

Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.

Mother Teresa

Homeschooling, Parenting

Mundane Rules

June 5th, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

I asked my five-year-old cousin what was his favorite part of my visit to his home in Louisiana. His answer? “You waiting for me when I got off the school bus.”

Three years later, he was asked his favorite times with his mother who was dying of cancer.  His answer? “Mommy playing games with me while we waited for the school bus.” His favorite game involved counting colors of passing cars.

Being met at the school bus. Waiting for the school bus. Both outweighed adventures such as sunset boat rides, trips to Avery Island to watch alligators, and playing on the ever-changing beach of Rio de Janeiro.

How are these answers relevant to parenting and educating our children? Along the way, I learned that day-to-day life matters more and will be remembered more than elaborate vacations, carefully planned birthday parties, science fairs, team sports, and field trips. The mundane stays in our children’s memories because of the repetition and the emotions attached.  I wish I had known earlier to make the most of the smaller moments.  Mundane rules, which can be very good news.

Which mundane moments are your favorites?