Mollie T. Cox, Author at 100 Words

The Victim Is Not Always The Victim

February 5th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear …
Isaiah 11:13b (ESV)

I think one of the saddest things I wish I had known was that the victim is not always the victim. Much is hidden that cannot be discerned—even by people who are daily witnesses.

The apparent victim may tell the best story. Or have the most pathetic or sweetest voice. Or an appearance that invokes trust. Or experienced a tragedy. Or a serious illness. Or always makes sure his or her version is told first.

I have been fooled by all the above.

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.
Proverbs 18:17

Many times, I did not have an examiner. The version I or a friend heard occurred miles away or years ago. The truth was not discovered until I or another had sympathized with or given aid to an instigator or bully or liar.

I learned along the way to be wary of the “wounded.” They may have been the one wielding a sharp sword.

Have you been misled?

Decisions

Speak Up

January 29th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

One evening, I looked around my crowded living room where families had gathered and wondered, “Am I crazy, or are they crazy?”

My husband and I continued to wonder if others saw the same dysfunctionality that we did. When the group gathered for a meal, we wondered if our host and hostess were naïve.

Finally, my husband met with a leader. The man was working quietly to rectify the situation. The young couple who had hosted our meal left the organization. Later, we learned that they had found the situation intolerable.

I learned a lesson I have never forgotten. Even in silence, I am not alone in my perceptions. Some may not have the disposition or courage to speak up or have done so and been shut down.

A decade later, a friend expressed frustration about a situation and asked, “Why won’t others say something. I’m told I’m the only one concerned.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “We’ve complained.”

Another decade passed. Another friend told me about a school situation and asked, “Why won’t other parents complain?”

“Maybe they have and have been told that no one else cares,” I said. “Add your voice and support them.”

Speaking up?

Book Recommendations

Untidy Books: Ungifted

January 25th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Along the way, I learned that not only do many adults not recognize bullying or destructive behavior, but also don’t know how to deal with it when they do. Gordon Korman has filled that gap with three conversation starting books—Restart, The Unteachables (both here), and Ungifted.

Although Ungifted deals with destructive behavior, the focus is elsewhere. What does it mean to be gifted?

As a result of a school prank wreaking unintended havoc, the prankster, is transferred accidentally to an academy for the gifted and talented. Donovan is below average academically while his new classmates are geniuses. Korman explores the definition of gifted as Donovan makes minor but important contributions to the school’s robotics team.

Separated from classmates who participated in his pranks, Donovan gains perspective on his motives and the consequences of his actions at his previous school. Like Restart and The Unteachables, we leave the story with hope.

One rating was a fifth-grade reading level, which makes it an easy, quick discussion book. Also helpful is Korman’s interesting characters and engaging writing style.

Has a book made a difficult or unpopular topic easier for you to discuss?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

Untidy Books: Gordon Korman

January 22nd, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

I like tidy books—especially when my family and house aren’t. Good morals. Tight endings. Families you wish would adopt you. Or you could adopt. But, regardless of how satisfying tidy books are, they don’t necessarily change readers.

Last Fall, I discovered and binge-read five Gordon Korman messy, middle-grade novels. We leave some characters on a better—but still rocky—path.

My favorites were Restart and The Unteachables because they explored what I have long believed. Bullies and other wounders are unaware of the damage they inflict. After thrusting their swords and exiting the stage, they forget those left behind—bleeding people with wounds that may leave lifetime scars.

In Restart, Chase has amnesia after falling off a roof. Why does his four-year-old stepsister scream when he is near, and classmates avoid him? As his memory returns, he is appalled at the bully he used to be.

In The Unteachables, teacher-of-the-year Zachery Kermit was shunned and relegated to the worst assignments after an eighth-grader’s folly. After twenty-seven years, Mr. Kermit’s former student learns the consequences of his behavior and wants to make amends.

Although the themes are serious, the creative plots and memorable characters entertain.

Have you discovered an author?