Author: Mollie T. Cox

Relationships

Who Can Stand?

October 14th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

Proverbs 27:4 (ESV)

One thing I wish I had known was the power of jealousy. Who can stand before jealousy? Along the way, I learned that the answer is “No one.”

I have had two people jealous of me—that I am aware of. For years, I did not stand.

Thankfully, the LORD rescued me. One woman acknowledged her sin and its effects on my family. Then, she apologized.

The Lord is my light and salvation; Whom shall I fear?

Psalm 27:1a (ESV)

Proverbs 6:34 explains why we cannot stand alone against jealousy.

For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.

Proverbs 6:34 (ESV)

My family—especially my children—have the lingering effects of the revenge of these two people.

… jealousy is as fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.

Song of Solomon 8:6B (ESV)

I was blindsided because meek, seeming loving people flashed like fire behind my back when their jealousy was aroused.

I wish I had been on guard and able to extinguish their jealousy.

Be watchful, dear friends.

Relationships

Happiness

October 7th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

 I have always admired you and pray for your happiness. With love, Your friend—

Letter, February 14, 2014

Why did I feel like crying? (Hint: It was not for being admired.)

Photo emailed to my friend, July 4, 2019.

You look happy. I always prayed for your happiness.

Email, July 4, 2019

 

Happiness.

Why was I touched? Why are others touched when I tell them what my friend said?

Praying for my basic needs seems reasonable. Why does praying for my happiness seem extravagant—as if someone handed me the deed to my favorite beach house on Emerald Isle?

I met my friend in fifth grade and our lives were intertwined until I moved to a distant city when I was twenty-one. Many times, I was unhappy. I never said I was. I only shared a bit. However, my friend never forgot. That fact makes her words more special.

Recently, I told another friend this story, and then, we wished each other happiness as we parted.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

Family, Friendship

Cups Of Tea

September 29th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

If you are cold, tea will warm you;

If you are too heated, it will cool you;

If you are depressed, it will cheer you;

If you are excited, it will calm you.

William Ewart Gladstone, British Statesman

This quote describes me although changing “tea” to “making tea” would also be accurate. I suspect I make more tea than I drink. The exception should have been aboard the Emerald Princess this week as I cruised to Canada. However, I learned today that teatime is no longer offered daily.

I don’t know if I will make the only teatime offered because the number of guests is limited. If I do, I suspect that the waiters in white jackets moving among the white-clothed tabletops will remind me of my aunt who likes to ask, “Who will bring her a cup of tea?” (See here.)

May someone bring you a cup of tea this week.

Friendship

The Friendship Balance

September 23rd, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

A friend was moving and leaving not only a void in my life and others, but also a void in our church ministry. Anne* repeatedly told me that she was praying for someone to fill the gap. I doubted someone would serve us the way she had. I doubted I could work as easily with another person.

I frequently thought, “Pray all you want, but it won’t be the same.”

And I was right. I was given more.

My heart was knit to my new friend more deeply and more quickly than I could have imagined. I accepted this better friendship without explanation, but a mutual friend eventually did explain. “With Anne, everything was about us. Nothing was about her,” she said.

Anne asked, “How are you doing? How can I help you? How can I pray for you?” She didn’t answer those same questions. The rare times she mentioned her life, I felt privileged to be trusted.

My new friend was vulnerable. She revealed her heart. She asked me to pray for her. There was a needed balance in my new relationship.

*A pseudonym

How is your friendship seesaw?

Friendship, Lies I Believed

Do I Really Pick My Friends?

September 16th, 2023
Mollie T. Cox

You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.

Until I was fifty, I believed that ubiquitous lie. Sort of. The truth came to me as I sat on the sofa of a couple who had recently moved to another state. My husband and I had deviated from our route during a trip that was already too long—in both miles and time—to see them.

I remember thinking, “When we met seventeen years ago, I would never have imagined I would be sitting here today.”

When we met, we were outwardly incompatible, and we remained that way. However, we were friends. Shared life had made us friends.

Thinking back, I only tried to pick my friends twice. It didn’t work with Valerie in third grade. It did with Jennifer in seventh grade. All my other friends appeared. Divine encounters. Shared experiences. Shared ministries. Shared projects. Shared thoughts, All involved moments when something clicked that was out of my control.

Along the way I learned that I don’t control my friendships. Friends are a gift to be received, just as my family is a gift to be received.

Who is your unlikely friend?