Mollie T. Cox, Author at 100 Words

It’s the Little Things That Matter #1

September 21st, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

I feel like crying as I write this. Truthfully, I’m tearing up—over a photo. Or more accurately, what that photo meant to someone.

In 2019, I snapped a photo of two women standing with my son. It was both spur of the moment and posed. I printed two copies and mailed one to each woman. Last week, one of the women passed at the age of 102. That photo was found in her Bible, and her daughter said the photo was of the few things she took with her when she moved to receive fulltime care.

There was much to love about that photo. L was not only standing with her pastor, but also with the friend who drove her to church each week. Part of the church building, which she could no longer enter once she became frailer, was visible. It was also a momentous occasion. It was the day that my son, who had been on staff for almost two years, was officially installed as the church’s pastor.

I almost didn’t take the photo. I wondered if I should mail it. However, those little actions mattered more than I knew, until now.

Parenting

Emergencies: Break The Rules

September 14th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

I prepared my sons for emergencies. We practiced fire drills, which included climbing out of their second-story bedrooms using an escape ladder. They wore a lanyard with a whistle when we shopped in crowds, or they went to the men’s room alone.

Along the way, I told them that in emergencies, we break the rules—obvious to adults but not to children.

My boys were to use their judgement and not listen to an older relative who lived with us. That was a hard one.

They were to abandon any possession, especially if they needed to run. Children have been hurt because they were drilled to take care of schoolbooks and bikes.

They were allowed to break anything that stood in their way.

After my sons were grown, I learned tips that I wish I had known.

When escaping with children, have them hold your belt or shirt so you don’t waste time checking on them.

Give specific instructions, such as “Run to the Wal-Mart greeter” rather than “Run.”

Children are silent when drowning—not like television.

As school activities resume, I need to remind the children in my life to break the rules.

Do you have a tip?

Homeschooling, Parenting, Relationships

Underestimating the Gap

September 7th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

What happens if your friend lives 200 miles away, but both of you think the distance is 100 miles, and you agree to meet halfway?

What happens if you both decide to drive another twenty-five miles after not seeing each other at the fifty-mile mark?

What happens if you both decide to drive another fifteen miles before giving up?

You will never meet your friend, but both of you will think that the other reneged. You will think you gave 90% while your friend did not give 10%. The relationship will be damaged.

I heard this illustration when I was newly married. I was working full-time and working on my doctoral dissertation part time. My husband was working part time and writing his doctoral dissertation full-time. The gap between our actual free time—for family, friends and volunteering—and our perceived free time was large.

While a map can settle location misperceptions, it can’t prove time, emotional or ability gaps. The only solution is extending goodwill. These days, as I give my “90%” and lament others’ lack of “10%,” I try to remember that I am probably misinformed.

Have you tired of giving your “90%” while others give their “10%”?

Homeschooling

Just Another way of Educating

August 31st, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

When I started homeschooling in 1991, it was not a prevalent method of educating children. I wasn’t in uncharted waters, but rather recently discovered waters—full of hope and promises.

Along the way, I learned that homeschooling is just another way of educating children. It has advantages over public and private education, but it also has its downfalls. To think otherwise is naive.

Homeschooling brings families closer. Yes, because children share common experiences, friends, and curricula. No, because family members have greater opportunities and time for conflict.

Homeschooling produces better-educated children. Yes, because special interests and needs of children can be accommodated and information is covered more efficiently. No, because limited resources, illnesses, disobedient children, and needs outside the family have a greater impact on learning.

Children prefer the freedom of homeschooling. Some do. Some don’t.

Homeschooling allows flexibility. Yes, because holidays, travel, and working around family needs are easier. No, because homeschooling requires a workload that can only be met by adhering to a schedule—especially when educating multiple children.

Any parent can homeschool. Yes, because homeschooling doesn’t require special skills, training, or intelligence. No, because homeschooling requires energy and stamina.

God bless the students in your lives.

Parenting

Surprises, Not Secrets

August 24th, 2024
Mollie T. Cox

I’m bringing you chocolate ice cream on Sunday. Don’t tell. It’s a secret.”

“No, Mollie,” my husband admonished after I got off the phone. “The ice cream is a surprise. Not a secret. Children should not have secrets with adults.”

Of course. What was I thinking? Surprises are innocent and are intended to be revealed. Not so with all secrets.

Especially as a new school year starts and activities fill our calendar, I need to remember that I, and the children in my life, face a world filled with dangers. My language should help protect them.

Not only should children be prohibited from having secrets with adults, but also with other children. Unfortunately, I know three adult women who were younger than ten when friends their age exposed them to porn. My husband was offered hard liquor at a Boy Scout Camp. He declined and left the tent.

I’m average at changing habits, but I’m trying to remember to use “secret” sparingly and never when I mean “surprise.”

Which other words should I not interchange?