Category: Parenting

Parenting

A Jar of Questions

August 7th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

I love the idea of a Worry Jar (see here) and a Grievance Jar (see here). Along the way, I became convinced that a Jar of Questions could also be helpful.

No matter how well we know our family, they have buried questions—some frivolous and some not—but all important to them.

A loved daughter waited until she was an adult to ask her dad why he never carried her. All the family photos showed her in her mother’s arms; her close-in-age sister was always in her father’s arms. Why?

The simple answer was not the imaginings that a child might have. Her sister was heavier; the extra weight was too much for her petite mother’s hip to bear.

I remember the questions I couldn’t ask out loud. And the ones I didn’t remember at the right time. Like a Grievance Jar and a Worry Jar, a jar set aside to collect our questions—and facilitate answers—could be healing.

Do you have any lingering questions from your childhood? Is there still time to ask?

Parenting

Family Excursions

June 26th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

My husband and I visited the Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden—not knowing that Labor Day was free or that there was a LEGO® exhibition.* Both led to crowded sidewalks.  Both gave me the opportunity to observe diverse family interactions.

What did I learn and wish I had known? The best family excursions do not impart knowledge.

Moments after we entered, the first LEGO® Bricks creation appeared. I heard children hollering “Butterfly, Butterfly.” 

37,481 LEGO® Bricks

Squealing children also ran through water sprinklers or gingerly avoided them. They laughingly rolled down the steep, grassy hill by the conservatory. 

The most peaceful parents were those experiencing the day through their children’s eyes, rather than forcing the reverse.  

Those parents did not audibly marvel at the creativity of the designs. They resisted the temptation to point out the hard work involved. Unlike me, they did not read the signs, which meant they did not repeat that information to their children—especially the pounds or number of LEGO® Bricks used in each figure.

60 pounds of LEGO® Bricks

Silent parents led to happy children, who determined what was amazing.

Any upcoming excursions?

* Nature Connects®: Art with LEGO® Bricks created by Sean Kenney (2016)

Family, Parenting

Our Family Newsletter

June 19th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

When my children were ages five to eight, we started a family newsletter. It was snail mailed to their grandparents, two aunts, and two great-aunts. Our boys drew cartoons, provided book reports, reported family current events, and gave updates on their guinea pigs. One column had prayer requests. The boys chose all topics.

My kindergartner dictated his articles. Occasionally, the older two dictated while my husband typed their contributions. For the first year, we “published” every two weeks. Eventually, we dwindled to once a month.

Our newsletter lasted only three to four years, but along the way, it became a precious history of our family. Copies reside in our safe.

At the time, I didn’t realize the educational impact of the newsletter. Later, I realized that dictation gave the boys confidence to write. Recording our children’s “talk” and showing them the results, took some fear out of writing. Writing begins—although it doesn’t end—by putting “talk” on paper.

After a friend and her husband reviewed long ago copies of their family newsletter, she said, “They were the best and most encouraging items we had read in years.”  

Any family activities worth recording for posterity?

Family, Friendship, Parenting

Admonish. Encourage. Help.

May 22nd, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

1 Thessalonians 5:14

When I recently re-read this verse, I remembered a sermon Dr. Bill Clark from the Lay Counselor Institute had preached over a decade ago. Admonish. Encourage. Help. He gave an example where he had to employ all three with a client, but usually only one was needed.

I was struck how my “go to” response of helping was not always the best choice. Occasionally, my response was random.

I had admonished the fainthearted when I should have encouraged. I had helped the idle when I should have admonished. I had encouraged the weak when I should have helped.

The only “go to” response in this scripture is “Be patient with them all,” rarely my first choice.

Do you naturally admonish, encourage, or help?

Parenting, Stories I Share

The Stories I Share: The Kittens

May 8th, 2022
Mollie T. Cox

The view from my bedroom window was a vintage, decrepit sedan. (See Here) I ignored the eyesore. My middle son didn’t.

One spring, he became fixated on the car. He would watch for the longest minutes, run off to play, and then, quickly return. I don’t remember if I discovered his secret, or he revealed it. Newborn kittens lived under the car, and my toddler loved watching them and their attentive mother.

Unfortunately, that same spring our city was deluged with rain—the kind where relatives call and check on you. We were fine. I was convinced the kittens weren’t, even though I couldn’t see through the rain.  The neighborhood yards that weren’t flooded were drenched. Water whooshed under our pier and beam house.

Once the storm passed, my one-year-old resumed his watch. No kittens.

“The kittens aren’t coming back,” I gently told him.

He wouldn’t leave his post even though there were no kittens—day after day—until one day the kittens appeared. Somehow the mother cat had enough storm warning to carry her brood to higher ground. She obviously liked the car as much as my son and—once safe—had carried them back.

Persevering in hope?