Category: Parenting

I prepared my sons for emergencies. We practiced fire drills, which included climbing out of their second-story bedrooms using an escape ladder. They wore a lanyard with a whistle when we shopped in crowds, or they went to the men’s room alone.

Along the way, I told them that in emergencies, we break the rules—obvious to adults but not to children.

My boys were to use their judgement and not listen to an older relative who lived with us. That was a hard one.

They were to abandon any possession, especially if they needed to run. Children have been hurt because they were drilled to take care of schoolbooks and bikes.

They were allowed to break anything that stood in their way.

After my sons were grown, I learned tips that I wish I had known.

When escaping with children, have them hold your belt or shirt so you don’t waste time checking on them.

Give specific instructions, such as “Run to the Wal-Mart greeter” rather than “Run.”

Children are silent when drowning—not like television.

As school activities resume, I need to remind the children in my life to break the rules.

I’m bringing you chocolate ice cream on Sunday. Don’t tell. It’s a secret.”

“No, Mollie,” my husband admonished after I got off the phone. “The ice cream is a surprise. Not a secret. Children should not have secrets with adults.”

Of course. What was I thinking? Surprises are innocent and are intended to be revealed. Not so with all secrets.

Especially as a new school year starts and activities fill our calendar, I need to remember that I, and the children in my life, face a world filled with dangers. My language should help protect them.

Not only should children be prohibited from having secrets with adults, but also with other children. Unfortunately, I know three adult women who were younger than ten when friends their age exposed them to porn. My husband was offered hard liquor at a Boy Scout Camp. He declined and left the tent.

I’m average at changing habits, but I’m trying to remember to use “secret” sparingly and never when I mean “surprise.”

Economics is the study of satisfying unlimited wants with limited resources.

Most Economics Textbooks

I’m an economist by nature and training, so why did it take years to realize that parenting is an economics problem—satisfying children’s unlimited wants with parents limited resources.

As a friend and I discussed our childhood hurts, we acknowledged that most were due to our parents’ limitations. They did not have the money, energy, training, or experiences to meet our childhood needs, wants, or expectations.

I have also long pondered how children’s expectations of parents have escalated over the decades. And I have lamented that family and community support have eroded. The result? The gap between children’s wants and parents’ resources has widened.

How did the analogy between parenting and the definition of economics help me? I gained perspective. I cannot completely satisfy my children any more than the production and allocation of goods can completely satisfy all consumers. However, I now have the vocabulary to explain this principle.