Category: Friendship

Friendship, Parenting

Emotional Vulnerability

August 2nd, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

A broken washing machine made me realize that I had friends I would impose on and friends I wouldn’t. (See Dirty Laundry Vulnerability Here.)

After I explained the dirty laundry versus non-dirty laundry friend distinction to a dear prayer partner, she replied, “Same goes with your emotional dirty laundry.” During the rest of our conversation, we referred to several prayer items as “emotional dirty laundry.”

I thought about our conversation as I checked off errands that day. I wanted to be the friend that could accept someone’s emotional dirty laundry, even if I couldn’t make it clean. I wanted my friends to know they were safe with me.

More importantly, I wanted to be the mother whom my children saw as safe to handle their emotional dirty laundry. During most of their childhood and adulthood, they only brought me their physical laundry to sort and clean. Focusing on my to-to list—including physical laundry—created barriers to emotional laundry.

Katie and I have been giving each other our emotional dirty laundry for almost three decades. (CHAP Homeschool Convention 2014)

How is your emotional dirty laundry? Giving? Receiving?

Friendship

Dirty Laundry Vulnerability

July 26th, 2020
Mollie T. Cox

Occasionally, I would realize that I had subconsciously divided friends into categories.  Late one night, my washing machine refused to drain water and forced a new, unexpected division.

I was stuck with towels and flannel nightgowns to wring by hand. The next morning, I asked my neighbor across the street if I could spin the overly wet clothes in her machine. She insisted on drying them as well because she didn’t want me carrying wet clothes home.

Soon, I needed use of a washer.  My temporary friend categories became friends you take your dirty laundry to and those you don’t. No one actually refused because I was careful about whom I asked. Some women I allocated to the second category were long-standing friends.

After a few days of imposing, I found that there were different categories. When I mentioned I was awaiting the delivery of new appliances, women who had been in the “No Dirty Laundry” category earnestly, voluntarily offered their machines. They were more flexible and accommodating than I understood. Later, I realized the true division was whom I was willing to be vulnerable with and whom I wasn’t.

Has vulnerability brought you unexpected help?