Book Recommendations, Parenting

Protect the Colts

While playing with peers, my sons were exposed to inappropriate, harmful behavior. My husband and I made the hardyet easy—decision that there must be adult supervision when our boys were with a certain child.

The day after we explained our unpopular stance, we providentially read aloud Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Young Almanzo wanted to train the two-year-old colts, but his father said,

A boy who didn’t know any better might scare a young horse, or tease it, or even strike it … It would learn to bite and kick and hate people.

When Almanzo persisted chapters later, he was told,

In five minutes you can teach them tricks it will take me months to gentle out of them.

Eventually, Almanzo went too near the colts. His father repeated his warnings.

That’s too good a colt to be spoiled. I won’t have you teaching tricks that I’ll have to train out of it.

We were accused of being overprotective, of taking mischief too seriously. We knew it was deeper.  Unexpectedly reading Wilder’s words—written over fifty years earlier—was encouraging. How much more valuable were boys than colts.

Have you received parenting encouragement from an unexpected source?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

Guitar Notes by Mary Amato (Reprise)

One of my favorite novels has characters who lie, sneak around, and steal. As their lives unfold, we learn their behavior is because they are angry, wounded teens who can’t communicate their pain.

Even though the writing is superb—actually I think it is brilliant at points—Guitar Notes by Amato would not be a favorite if the responsible adults were portrayed as the bad guys. Early in the book, the discerning reader knows that caring parents and teachers are doing what they think is best for the children—given their limited understanding.

Do not be deceived. Your children are carrying hidden pain because it is inescapable in this fallen world.  It helps all to read and discuss books with messy relationships. However, I believe that the story’s resolution should not condone or reward bad behavior, or ridicule or punish good behavior. That is one of my tests for what is acceptable—not the honest, raw conflict along the way.

How have you set standards for your family’s reading?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

I have a hard time reading books about abuse. I actually stop reading any story that hints it is going in that direction. However, Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley is not only an honest look at experiencing and surviving sexual abuse, but it is also beautifully told and ends with hope.

Even better, Fighting Words empowers victims to stand up and gives them words to tell would-be abusers that their behavior is unacceptable.

Like Guitar Notes by Mary Amato (see here), this is not a novel to hand your children. It is best previewed because of the richness of the story and what it can teach parents—not because of a problem. Your tweens especially may not be ready for every page, but they are ready for the “Fighting Words” you can give them after you read Della and Suki’s story.

As our children re-enter the world after months of isolation due to the pandemic, we must again be vigilant to protect them.

Have any novels helped you start important, difficult conversations?

Book Recommendations, Parenting

In My Father’s House by Corrie Ten Boom

Earthly examples of godly men and women may be lacking in our immediate lives, but we can still learn from others. Corrie ten Boom shared her childhood in the autobiography In My Father’s House. (See here for more about the ten Booms.)

Corrie’s parents handled her fears and foibles with great wisdom. They handled their poverty with great trust in God who had great riches. Nudged by the Spirit, they prayed great prayers, which were answered in unimaginable ways.

Once, after Corrie escaped being molested, her mother said

Every morning I ask Him to keep you and all of my children within His constant care. In the evening, I thank Him that He sent His angels to guard you. Now you and I will pray together.

They prayed that God would change the heart of the man who meant harm. Corrie was encouraged by her mother’s words.

Has a biography or autobiography encouraged you?

Basics, Book Recommendations

Guitar Notes By Mary Amato

It is obvious that some kids are dying inside. Their anger, sour attitudes, and sloppy work are testimony.

What I learned along the way was that the child who is kind, complaint, and hardworking might be experiencing his or her own internal death.

Guitar Notes by Mary Amato beautifully portrays this dual reality. Tripp, a guitarist, and Lyla, a cellist, are dealing with very similar—yet, very different—painful circumstances. They are unable to communicate effectively with their caring parents.

One parent struggles to understand defiant behavior. The other has no clue that outward perfection hides intense pain.

If you have a tween or teen, I recommend you read Guitar Notes privately, and then, perhaps, with your child. It is a good conversation starter.

What methods do you have for discerning what is beneath the surface?