Decisions | 100 Words

Christmas Adaptations

December 13th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

One day, if my husband and I live long enough, we’re not going to be able to put up a tree at Christmas. My sadness at that realization used to make me feel materialistic or overly secular. However, as my husband and I age, I view my Christmas ornaments the same way I view my photo albums. They are visual reminders of the people and places in our lives.

The past five years, I have warned that a particular day was coming and this year it arrived. My family purchased an artificial tree. I’ve taken to heart the principle of simplifying instead of giving up. (See here and here.)

The energy we spent on choosing, transporting, setting up, vacuuming fallen needles, adding lights, attempting to hang ornaments on uneven or weak branches and watering—as well as arguing about all the previous steps—is now devoted to hanging ornaments. More ornaments than we have hung in the past decade. My heart is happy as I reflect on the memories they represent.

Christmas is a box of ornaments that have become part of the family. Charles Schultz

PS Our simplified deck decorations for 2025

Decisions, Homeschooling, Parenting

Advice Versus Experience

November 8th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

I don’t believe in advice. I offer experience and hope.
Tracee Ellis Ross

I don’t believe much in advice either, Tracee. Along the way, I’ve received too much from people who have no knowledge or have never walked in my footsteps. (I remember both the humor and the hurt from those situations.)

I’m also guilty. Long ago and far away, I chose a new homeschool curricula. It was computer based and made my life easier while my family cared for my mother. Within weeks, I was recommending my discovery to other families. By the end of the year, I was pointing out the curricula’s faults and giving different advice. My friends needed my seasoned experience—not my untested advice.

Even seasoned experience has not stopped others or me from giving and receiving bad advice.

What do I wish we all knew before sharing experiences and offering hope? To ask questions first to see our experiences are helpful.

Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers

Decisions, Priorities

Emptying My Accounts

November 1st, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

I thought I’d never let my account get down to zero. I certainly wouldn’t have an overdraft—except that is what I did this year and last. I did it generously and without considering the consequences because the needs of those around me were great. I also didn’t know the needs would be ongoing.

I’m not talking about my bank account because I do understand future expenses and unexpected emergencies. I’m talking about my physical and emotional reserves. In some ways, emptying my well-being account is worse. One son regularly reminds me that my health is my greatest asset.

I didn’t consider budgeting my energy—in all forms—because I underestimated how hard replenishment would be and how quickly I would need a positive balance.

Why did I know not to spend all my money helping others with their emergencies and yet not show healthy restraint with regard to spending myself? Perhaps I was too optimistic that crises would resolve? Perhaps the lack of experience of being in my sixties?

I’m learning. I’m also learning the truth of the quote below.

Help someone, you earn a friend. Help someone too much, you make an enemy.
Erol Ozan

Decisions, Priorities

What Should We Do?

September 27th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

Our family has been swirling in activity since the beginning days of 2025. Why? Because crisis after crisis erupted. We asked,

What can we do to help?

when the proper question was

What should we do to help?

It’s hard to think about personal limitations and setting long-term expectations when loved ones are drowning, but as my husband was taught in a lifeguarding class, a drowning person’s first instinct is to drown the rescuer.

As the year ages, we’ve been able to escape with our much wiser lives and realize “can” does not mean “should.” It’s easier to back off when the stakes are low, but as we, friends, and relatives age, the stakes become higher.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with you God? Micah 6:8

Decisions, Homeschooling, Parenting

Following Other Families

September 6th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.
Henri Nouwen

I thought the perfect families and homeschoolers showcased in magazines and at conventions could show me the way. It turned out they could only give me a picture of the destination because they had never been in my parenting and homeschooling desert.

I don’t regret what I read and attended. I do regret not realizing the journey presented could not be replicated. There were many reasons. The advice-giving parents were from a different generation. They had different challenges and resources. Others had not finished their journey and so they only thought they knew the way.

As the school year geared up, and the challenges abounded, my peers and I rarely had people who could lead us. We stumbled around together and eventually made it.

Almost twenty years have passed since my sons graduated. The desert has changed during that time. As your school year progresses, may you have people to lead you and the wisdom to know who they are.

Thank you, Marie Hannah, for surviving the desert and returning to guide others.