Decisions | 100 Words

Advice Versus Experience

November 8th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

I don’t believe in advice. I offer experience and hope.
Tracee Ellis Ross

I don’t believe much in advice either, Tracee. Along the way, I’ve received too much from people who have no knowledge or have never walked in my footsteps. (I remember both the humor and the hurt from those situations.)

I’m also guilty. Long ago and far away, I chose a new homeschool curricula. It was computer based and made my life easier while my family cared for my mother. Within weeks, I was recommending my discovery to other families. By the end of the year, I was pointing out the curricula’s faults and giving different advice. My friends needed my seasoned experience—not my untested advice.

Even seasoned experience has not stopped others or me from giving and receiving bad advice.

What do I wish we all knew before sharing experiences and offering hope? To ask questions first to see our experiences are helpful.

Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers

Decisions, Priorities

Emptying My Accounts

November 1st, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

I thought I’d never let my account get down to zero. I certainly wouldn’t have an overdraft—except that is what I did this year and last. I did it generously and without considering the consequences because the needs of those around me were great. I also didn’t know the needs would be ongoing.

I’m not talking about my bank account because I do understand future expenses and unexpected emergencies. I’m talking about my physical and emotional reserves. In some ways, emptying my well-being account is worse. One son regularly reminds me that my health is my greatest asset.

I didn’t consider budgeting my energy—in all forms—because I underestimated how hard replenishment would be and how quickly I would need a positive balance.

Why did I know not to spend all my money helping others with their emergencies and yet not show healthy restraint with regard to spending myself? Perhaps I was too optimistic that crises would resolve? Perhaps the lack of experience of being in my sixties?

I’m learning. I’m also learning the truth of the quote below.

Help someone, you earn a friend. Help someone too much, you make an enemy.
Erol Ozan

Decisions, Priorities

What Should We Do?

September 27th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

Our family has been swirling in activity since the beginning days of 2025. Why? Because crisis after crisis erupted. We asked,

What can we do to help?

when the proper question was

What should we do to help?

It’s hard to think about personal limitations and setting long-term expectations when loved ones are drowning, but as my husband was taught in a lifeguarding class, a drowning person’s first instinct is to drown the rescuer.

As the year ages, we’ve been able to escape with our much wiser lives and realize “can” does not mean “should.” It’s easier to back off when the stakes are low, but as we, friends, and relatives age, the stakes become higher.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with you God? Micah 6:8

Decisions, Homeschooling, Parenting

Following Other Families

September 6th, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there.
Henri Nouwen

I thought the perfect families and homeschoolers showcased in magazines and at conventions could show me the way. It turned out they could only give me a picture of the destination because they had never been in my parenting and homeschooling desert.

I don’t regret what I read and attended. I do regret not realizing the journey presented could not be replicated. There were many reasons. The advice-giving parents were from a different generation. They had different challenges and resources. Others had not finished their journey and so they only thought they knew the way.

As the school year geared up, and the challenges abounded, my peers and I rarely had people who could lead us. We stumbled around together and eventually made it.

Almost twenty years have passed since my sons graduated. The desert has changed during that time. As your school year progresses, may you have people to lead you and the wisdom to know who they are.

Thank you, Marie Hannah, for surviving the desert and returning to guide others.

Decisions, God's Faithfulness

Appreciating God’s Immutability

August 23rd, 2025
Mollie T. Cox

Allow disillusionment with man to turn you to the love and faithfulness of God.
James Boice, Come To the Waters

I recently experienced the truth of Boice’s words when someone’s vacillating during the summer led me to a new appreciation of God’s unchangeable character, standards, and expectations.

Serving someone whose mind changed daily—or within a day—was frustrating and trust-breaking. With God, I will never be told

Did I say that? I forgot. It’s not what I wanted you to do today.

I didn’t say that. I said a variation of that.

That was what I wanted, but the children don’t like my rule so you should have disregarded it.

I’m too tired to enforce my standards.

Okay, the last was not said aloud but inferred.

I learned about God’s immutability over half a century ago. but now it is deeper in my heart. I’ve depended on God never changing his mind with regard to his eternal promises. Now I understand deeply the value of God not changing for a single second.

For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed. Malachi 3:6