Category: Priorities

What have I been learning along the way?

“Nothing” can trump “Something.”

As a child, sitting outside at night beside my grandmother—just sitting—while she and my mother and aunts talked was the best part of a day.

Sitting—just sitting—by the sandbox while my great-nephews dug in the sand was the best part of a day.

Sitting on top of Blackrock in the Shenandoah National Park and looking at cloud formations during a sunset was the best part of a day.

People watching at a mall and walking through a local library—even when we were in St. Johns, Newfoundland for only a few hours—was better than touring an historic tourist site.

Watching the stars would have been superior to attending the cruise ship’s evening program.

Looking at the ship’s wake would have been superior to watching the cooking demonstration and the galley tour.

What do I wish I knew?

The best way to do Nothing so it doesn’t become Something because late September has excellent weather for doing Nothing.

Are you good at doing Nothing?

Sometimes I know what I really want (see here). What I wish I had known was what I really needed. Along the way—as in over the summer—I learned that activities I considered selfish wants were important needs.

Spring and Summer events stripped me of all of the following for significant stretches of time.

Bicycling

Conversations with friends

Library visits

My flowers / yard / woods

Reading for enjoyment (actually almost all reading)

Solitude

Swimming

Time with my sons

Walks

Worship with other believers

Each loss took a different toll on my mental and physical health. Combined, it was too much for too long.

What have my husband and I learned? Another’s crisis must be at an extreme level before we travel on a Sunday and miss Worship. Caring for our mental and physical health takes many forms. All aspects of good health are a need—not a want—and must be prioritized.

Are you learning your needs?

I didn’t get anything done.

I may have had significant conversations, exercised, prayed, and attended a Bible Study, but if I hadn’t written, cleaned, or organized, I felt like I hadn’t gotten anything done.

Along the way, I learned that my and others’ priorities were revealed by whether we counted our activities as “getting something done.”

This discovery began with my husband. Many times, when I asked about his day he answered,

I didn’t get anything done today because …

My husband had accomplished much, and it was part of his job description, but I learned that his answer meant he hadn’t done the part of his job that mattered most to him.

I eventually realized a pattern in my assessments. To believe I had accomplished something, I needed proof: words on a page, objects in their place, or a clean room. Bible study, prayers and conversations were discounted because the results couldn’t be seen or touched. Their impact might not be revealed during my lifetime.

What counts on the days I don’t write?

The world doesn’t necessarily need more great artists. It needs more decent human beings.

Keep going by Austin Kleon

So, what did you do today?